


Stress Loads

by ourspring



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn / Build, Smut, jb is a music producer who meets up with his hookups at one (1) bar, this turned out way longer than i planned, youngjae just so happens to be the new bartender at that bar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 07:01:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 31,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13969791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ourspring/pseuds/ourspring
Summary: And suddenly, Jaebum comes to an odd realization that Youngjae's signature drink is starting to resemble it's creator. It's bright and bold with it's vivid electric blue color, as if you're drinking pure energy itself, and it's sweet taste gives you a pleasant buzz that makes you want to have another and then another and then another. Until, suddenly, you go from buzzed to drunk.It sneaks up on you, coming out of no where with that hidden something that you can't see with your own eyes; but you can certainly feel once it finally hits.





	Stress Loads

The bass from the speakers is so loud that he can feel it reverberating in his chest, inching its way down his body with each beat that booms from the obnoxious EDM song currently playing. Ringed fingers bring the glass of alcohol he has been sipping on for the past thirty minutes back to his lips, ignoring the strong spike of vodka mixed in with  _whatever the hell_  the bartender had concocted together for him tonight. There is a constant state of motion erupting around him, the gay night club that Jaebum is currently in one of the popular spots for partying and getting fucked up. Tonight is no different, bodies seeming to take up a majority of the space and making it nearly impossible to move at times.

He had managed to find a seat at the bar and has since refused to move, ignoring how others have to squeeze in beside him.

Jaebum hated places like this, in all honesty.

The pungent odor from all the perspiring bodies mixed with the overwhelming amount of perfume and cologne was enough to give anyone a migraine, if the music hadn’t already managed to do so first. There was too much happening at once, too many people around, and under any normal circumstances Jaebum would be anywhere else but here. But tonight he had purposefully placed himself here.

Just like he had been doing the past few months. It had become a bit of a habit, at this point.

His phone lights up from where it’s sitting in front of him, and he reaches out to look at the message sent.

 

**\+ 82 4 346 ####**

> Here. Where u at?

 

Jaebum types in a quick response:  _Bar._

He downs the rest of his drink now, feeling the familiar twist of anticipation in his gut begin to form. There was only one intention for him being here tonight, meeting up with this guy who was about to make his appearance.

Jaebum just wanted to get off.

It was life that had caused him to fall into this routine. Working for a music entertainment company was a goal that Jaebum had worked hard for, writing lyrics and producing music something that he would always enjoy, but that didn't mean it was easy. His work was stressful, with the constant deadlines and studio times he had to constantly get in, as well as keeping up with multiple artists and keeping them strict on their schedules. There was no such thing as 'slacking off' when it came to the music industry. The end results were great, and Jaebum was proud of what he did, but it built up. And if he hadn't found a way to release it all, he was sure he would of eventually imploded in on himself at this point.

The stress grew until he was strung taut and tense, becoming easily irritable to anyone around him, and Jaebum knew that when his best friend gave him  _that_  look, it was time to relieve it all in whatever way he could.

And it wasn’t like Jaebum didn’t try different alternatives before choosing sex as the best option.

His old college roommate turned coworker, Jackson, had been all over him in the beginning when he eventually verbalized needing something in his life to help with the stress. The brunet had been adamant about how working out helped release endorphins, which created happy and euphoric feelings, plus eating healthy meals and focusing on your body brought natural internal healing all on its own, as well. There had been a bunch of other health guru bullshit spouted out in the midst of Jackson’s presentation, but Jaebum had ended up agreeing to try it anyway. Also to get the other to finally shut up.

Working out had been great and all until he had a few days where he didn’t feel like doing it. Then it just felt like a chore, and then it became an even bigger stress to try and fit into his life.

Jinyoung, his best friend, had suggested seeking out calm settings and reading. Which wasn’t a bad idea at all and Jaebum himself enjoyed reading when he could, but he just didn’t have the time. Getting off work late only left him bone-tired and ready to pass out the moment he got a second to himself. The first few times he had settled back on his bed and opened a book to read it, he had woken up to his alarm hours later, book grasped limply in his hand and abandoned. Eventually he just gave up; he could read when he was retired.

It had been Mark who ultimately hit the nail on the head.

“I mean, there’s always sex.”

The blond had said it so casually, sprawled out on one of the couches of his living room and looking disinterested, dark eyes focused on the screen of his phone. Jackson and Jinyoung, who had also been there at the time, immediately started to protest before the suggestion seemed to really settle over them and then they couldn't say it was a bad idea, really, because it made sense for him.

Im Jaebum liked working out but he wasn't Jackson Wang.

Im Jaebum liked reading, too, but he wasn't Park Jinyoung.

But sex?

Im Jaebum could do sex.

It took no real dedication other than a couple hours and then he was done for the night and could go on with his life feeling exponentially better and less stressed.

Plus, it was _sex_. In what world would he ever have an issue with managing to get laid multiple times a week? Not this one, that much was for sure.

His only real dilemma was that he didn't feel like he could commit to anything serious with how involved he was with his job, and although he had gotten around quite a bit back in college, that had been a few years ago and things were different nowadays. Jaebum was in his late twenties, did not enjoy going out to places like this night club for longer than he needed to, and he needed the sex to be as mutual and straight to the point as he could get it.

So, naturally, Jaebum set up a profile on whatever dating app his application store provided on his phone. It was easy to make what he wanted clear with those, and after that, it all came rather easy. Multiple messages were sent to him every day, and he had the ability to pick the ones he preferred and ignore the ones he wasn’t interested in, as well as look himself if he wanted to. They would both make the mutual agreement that it was just a quick hookup, and then they would meet up and go from there. Most of the places others had suggested at the beginning seemed too intimate or odd, but it was after meeting up here at the night club with an old hookup that he eventually settled on it being his go to spot. It was a safe place, usually crowded, and if he needed to slip away he could very easily.

Jaebum already had his emergency exit established, too. Just in case.

Plus, he knew the owner of the club, as well as one of the bartenders, Brian, who he had met through Mark. Using his connections to his advantage, Jaebum found that being able to slip through the back door made for employees only was the true saving grace that allowed him to flee whenever a meet up went bad.

“Hey there.”

He turns his head when a body sidles up next to him, the male’s face matching the one of the profile picture he had seen earlier today and messaged to meet up.

“Need a drink?” Jaebum asks, leaning away from the bar to take the other in with an approving expression on his face. He'll do just fine for tonight.

“Sure." The guy answers with a smile, "What are you having?”

“Vodka and something. I’m not too sure.” Jaebum answers back with a chuckle, turning to look for the bartender to order a new one for the both of them.

The female who had been working before didn't seem to be there anymore, and instead a younger male with longish black hair stood behind the counter now, focused on the row of shots he had spaced out in front of him for the group of girls a couple seats down. Jaebum watches as he starts passing them across the bar, the girls cheering and handing them off before clinking them together and downing them in one go, the bartender laughing and taking one with them. They all coo over him for a moment before falling into their excited chatter, and Jaebum takes that free second to catch his attention.

The bartender shoots him a grin and makes his way over, brow raising expectantly when he gets to them. “What can I get you?”

“Another one of these, I guess.”

One brow quirks on the guy's face in question, reaching forward to look at the drink and then he's looking back at Jaebum in amusement. “Another one of these? Does it have a name?” he questions and Jaebum makes a face, shrugging his shoulders.

“Not sure. The girl who was bartending before you just made it for me. Didn’t really tell me what it was.”

The guy nods his head in understanding, taking away his empty glass before looking between Jaebum and his hookup with bright eyes.

“Well since I have no clue what Momo made you, I’ll just make you my own little special cocktail then, yeah?”

“Sure, go for it. I’ll take two.” He’s never been too picky about his drinks.

Receiving a small two-fingered salute in response, the male turns towards the line of shelves holding all their choice selections of alcohol and starts gathering his ingredients.

Jaebum turns back to his hookup and initiates a casual conversation. It’s nothing special. He asks the other if he's been to the club before, hears him talk about how annoying his job had been for him today, both their responses simple. Nothing deep. He notices that he seems into the horrible music, though, his head bobbing along when the remix switches up. Jaebum just remains still in his seat.

Two glasses suddenly appear in front of them, and he blinks at the electric blue color of it, the lemon garnish and cherry sitting on the ice almost making him laugh. Jaebum's eyes lift to look back to the bartender once more; and he seems pretty proud of himself.

“What is this?” Jaebum questions, smirking at how obnoxious it looks. He takes a sip of it anyway.

Surprisingly, it actually isn’t that bad at all. There is a sharp taste of alcohol but it’s cleverly hidden behind the extra flavors mixed into it. It's refreshing but Jaebum has a feeling that this was one of those drinks that could sneak up on someone very quickly if they weren’t careful.

“It's a drink!” The other retorts teasingly, flashing him a smile. “A bartender never reveals the secret ingredients of their signature drink.” 

He's pretty cute.

“Must be quite the secret, then.” Jaebum muses.

”Oh, it is! Not everyone can handle it, so I have to choose wisely on who I think can and who I think can’t.”

Jaebum finds his playfulness a little contagious. “You don’t think I could handle it?” he asks cockily for no real reason, but the bartender finds him funny and laughs. 

“It’s hard to know for sure when we’ve just met, don’t you think?”

He can't help but notice how his eyes slant up and how the apples of his cheeks puff out with the stretch of his lips, white and nearly-perfect teeth flashing. He has a nice smile, and Jaebum wonders how he had never noticed this specific bartender before, seeing as he had become quite the regular for the club over the past few months. A hand grips onto his arm and gives a squeeze for attention, and Jaebum lets the question go for now to look over at the body still standing beside him.

Oh yeah. The other guy. His hookup.

Apparently he had been staring, but the bartender seems unaware, pre-occupied with cleaning up the counter and grabbing the empty glasses left behind. The momentarily forgotten hookup beside him seemed to have noticed though, and Jaebum sees them looking a little annoyed, eyes peering at the bartender before turning back to him. He doesn’t move when the male leans in to whisper into his ear, giving him a dirty promise of a stress-relieving night and it’s all Jaebum needs to be pulled away from bar stool, downing the rest of the drink and then reaching into his back pocket to pull out his wallet.

He slaps a generous amount of money next to the drink, looking up for a quick glance but pausing when he notices the wide-eyed look on the bartender’s face, clearly having noticed how much Jaebum had set down.

“You know your bill isn’t that high, right? I might have to go to the back and get the right amount of change—“ The raven-haired male starts, but Jaebum waves a hand and shakes his head.

“Don’t worry about it. Keep the change.” 

“If this is your way of trying to get me to spill on my signature drink, it’s really not  _that_  big of a deal.” He lets out an incredulous laugh and Jaebum grins. There is a response on the tip of his tongue, but a hand finds his arm again and Jaebum looks away to see his hookup giving him another look. The conversation is abruptly stopped between him and the male behind the bar, and Jaebum allows himself to be pulled away, leaving behind the bartender and missing how he watches with a curious look on his face as he leaves.

 

 *

 

Jaebum finds himself in that same spot again just a few days later. He’s even sitting in the same stool. Luckily he had gotten here when he did, because it seemed as though the gate had opened just seconds after he had taken his seat, and now the night club was alive.

Who knew Wednesdays could be as loud and packed as weekends?

There are two bartenders this time, Jaebum noting Brian first, who he was the most familiar with, but then noticing the other one was the same bartender from before. There is a friendly smile on his face, seeming content with chatting up the people that come to order their drinks, and Jaebum continues to wait patiently to place his own.

He hasn't been here that long, anyway, having some time to spare before his hookup for the night got here.

There are multi-color moving lights lit around the dance floor that spin and cast over the wild crowd, and Jaebum is content with people watching until the voice of the one bartender is suddenly right there across from him. He turns to look, feeling a small smirk tug on the corner of his mouth at the happy expression on his face.

“You’re back!” The male exclaims, as if surprised to see him again. Ah, well, he'll get used to seeing him just as the others had eventually.

“Can't seem to stay away.” Jaebum says in a dry tone, raising a brow in amusement when the other laughs like he had just cracked a funny joke.

“Right! Because this place is so alluring, isn’t it? Was it the musty feeling of the atmosphere that brought you back or the playlist of badly remixed Chainsmokers songs playing on repeat?”

Jaebum grins, feeling a chuckle slip but somewhere between the lines he knows the other is being honest about how terrible it is here.

“Actually, I think it’s how my shoes like to stick to the floor when I walk that keeps bringing me back.” He plays along.

The bartender starts laughing again, the sound of it loud and unique with the way he seems to throw his voice back into his throat as he does it, but Jaebum feels like it suites the bright demeanor that he gives off.

“It’s permanently like that. No amount of sweeping or mopping can get rid of it, trust me, I've tried.”

“Lovely,” Jaebum muses, crossing his arms over the counter top. “I think it’s time for a drink.”

The bartender perks up at that, leaning forward to mirror Jaebum’s posture. “What’ll it be?”

“How about that signature drink you made me the other day?”

The other moves back with a sly smile, obviously pleased by the request. “Oh? You liked it?” he questions, familiar playfulness back and Jaebum finds that he's holding down a grin. This guy really had the kind of personality that drew someone in; and Jaebum wasn’t the easiest person to warm up to. No part of him was rough or cruel in the way that his outward appearance seemed to give off, having been told numerous times that he was hard to approach, but it was because of his quiet nature that people found him intimidating.

Jaebum just lived in his head a lot, mind never knowing how to shut off or shut up. 

Of course, with the exception of when he was having sex. In those moments, when he is lost in that pleasure, his mind is always at a stand-still.

That aside, he still wasn’t the easiest to just strike up a conversation with and actually maintain. Most usually fell into an awkward silence, not knowing what to say afterwards. This bartender, though, seems completely capable of creating a flow of conversation between them. Something about the ease in which he presents himself makes Jaebum feel comfortable, and thus makes it easier for him to feel like he's talking to a friend. 

The energy he gives off creates an ambience that he's coming to like, even with the short amount of time they've interacted.

It’s not like it’s the first time he had ever met someone like this though, and it makes sense as to why Jaebum would find the other so compelling. Jackson had that same kind of energy. He made anyone and everyone feel comfortable around him and his superpower was literally making friends within seconds. Jaebum hadn’t stood a chance back during their years at college; Jackson had suckered him into a friendship that was going on nearly eight years now.

Plus, he was impossible to get rid of at this point.

Jaebum rolls his eyes in amusement as he watches the bartender turn away to make his drink, putting on a show of not allowing Jaebum to see what ingredients he was pulling out.

Something in the back of his mind repeats those words: He didn’t stand a chance.

A chance in regards to what though he’s not really sure, seeing as they’re strangers to each other. He doesn’t even know his name. At this point, Jaebum is chalking it up to how the male’s personality simply reminds him of Jackson, and that it brings a heavy feeling of nostalgia because of that.

“Here you go!” The bartender exclaims out when finished, placing the drink down and that bright blue and tacky garnish greets Jaebum once more.

“Thanks,” Jaebum says easily, taking a sip and letting the sweetness erupt in his mouth. ”You know," he starts, "For such an obnoxious color, it’s actually not that bad.” 

“You think that colors obnoxious?” The male repeats, feigning offense. “It took me forever to get it to the perfect shade of blue. It’s nearly identical to the Pantone color I was going for.”

”Pantone color?” Jaebum quirks a brow.

The bartender grins, nodding his head. “Yeah! You have to draw inspiration from somewhere, don't you? Plus, there was a color swatch nearby because my old job was repainting and I was bored during a shift. It took four hours but I’m pretty proud of it.”

Jaebum snorts, dropping his gaze to look back at the drink. “It’s cute.”

”It’ll fuck you up fast if you don’t watch it.” There’s a warning in his tone but the proud grin on his face counteracts it. “I had a friend ask me to make something that’ll get him drunk fast without feeling like he’s drinking and dousing his throat in gasoline.” 

“I’d... say you succeeded.” 

”Oh, I know I did!" He laughs out loud, "I can’t drink it much anymore though, to be honest.”

”Bad experience?” Jaebum taunts, smirking when the bartender rubs a hand behind his head sheepishly, shrugging one shoulder.

”Yeah, when I say it fucks you up I am speaking from experience. I drank too many one night and ended up passing out in my friends bathroom in my own vomit. Pants down and everything. He found me and had to throw my unconscious body halfway over the bathtub to wash my hair because I landed face first in it. Apparently, I woke up at one point too and kept telling him how much I loved and cherished him the entire time.”

The story is embarrassing, but it’s the way that it's told that has Jaebum actually laughing out loud, toothy grin on his face. “You’re fucking with me.” 

“I wish I was! I don’t think I moved for two entire days. I literally thought I was dying.”

”You probably were,” Jaebum responds with a chuckle. The other hasn’t stopped smiling since telling his story, seeming more fond about the memory than embarrassed.

”The best part though is that apparently the shit I vomited up was bright blue, just like that, and I was blond back then. So it ended up dyeing the parts of my hair that it got stuck in. I had blue patches for a solid week before it finally washed out.”

They both simultaneously erupt into laughter, Jaebum’s body lurching forward at how it breaks from his chest. It sounds odd even to his own ears, and he feels light all the sudden, wondering when the last time he really laughed out loud like that was.

”You really did get fucked up.”

”Yeah,” The male chuckles, running his fingers through his hair and looking at Jaebum with a glint in his eyes. “Worth it, though. That night was fun... from what I can remember.”

”Right. Because passing out in my own vomit is the way I like to end my nights of fun.”

”I was referring to everything that happened before that!”

”I honestly kind of wish I could of been there to see it.” Jaebum continues, eyeballing the drink sitting infront of him now with a wary look.

”Oh, if you had been, you would’ve been all over me. I’m sure of it.”

There is a hint of something in the way that he says that that catches Jaebum’s attention and makes something hot flick in his gut, causing him look up at him again.

If there was one thing that he knew how to pick up on it was flirting. And he's pretty sure that this was flirting; it's just more subtle.

”Hm, really?" Jaebum makes a face, "At which point? The passing out on the bathroom floor with your pants down part or the blue vomit dyeing your hair part? Because both are  _very_  appealing, I'll admit.”

His grin returns when the other immediately starts laughing again, flustering but not ashamed. “What can I say? I like to put myself in situations where I’m impossible to forget. Helps my self-esteem.”

”Hey— could I, like, get somethin’ to drink now?”

A voice cuts into their conversation and both of them turn to look at the stranger, the look on his face seeming annoyed and uncaring to the fact that he had interrupted. The bartender gives the clubber an easy smile though, unaffected by the attitude as he steps away from Jaebum and in their direction, "Yeah! Of course. What can I get you?"

And Jaebum is left to himself once more, feeling an odd shift around him at the sudden lack of conversation and laughter, so he looks to his phone for distraction. There is a notification on his screen from the guy he was meeting up with, announcing that he was there, and Jaebum sees that it was sent about five minutes ago.

Gaze lifting to peer over at the bartender again, he notices the crowd that suddenly seems to have appeared in the span of a couple seconds. Jaebum has a feeling that their conversation was over now with the sudden desperate need for alcohol that everyone apparently had at the same time.

He still finds himself lingering for a moment, wondering if he should at least attempt to ask for his name, but then there is a figure taking up his space and attention, his brunet hair framing sharp features and Jaebum just lets it go. He chooses instead to roll into his routine once more, ordering him a drink via Brian this time, until the two of them eventually take their exit.

Jaebum leaves behind his thoughts of the bartender; letting them wait at the stool he would find himself in again eventually. 

 

 *

 

It’s Friday night and Jaebum is back on his bullshit. Same stool under his ass. Text message lighting up his phone from the hookup he would be meeting up with very soon.

The only thing that is throwing him off is that the bartender isn’t here tonight.

Jaebum doesn’t know why the realization that the male wasn't working seems to put a damper on him, but it does. The thought that he had actually been looking forward to seeing him for whatever short amount of time that he could of enters his mind and makes him a little uneasy, too.

Tonight it’s just Brian and Momo. Both greet him with smiles, never surprised to see him, and Jaebum ends up sipping on a strong tasting drink mixed with rum that Brian had made for him. He really doesn’t care for the taste of it, but it’s taking the edge off from the day, and that’s really all he needs right now.

He tries not to think about a specific bright smile the entire time he’s there and he makes a conscious effort to leave those thoughts behind again once he leaves.

And for whatever reason, Jaebum finds that he feels a little more frustrated than he had felt at the beginning of his night. But the urgent hands that grip at him, the heady pleasure that takes over his senses, the quick and rough snapping of his hips as he fucks into a tight heat winds him down and takes it all out of him before he can let it fester into something he doesn’t want to even begin to try and understand.

 

* 

 

The following Tuesday night, apparently, is the night when nobody seems to want to go out. It was almost like entering into a different dimension, the atmosphere that had manifested in the absence of bodies and general loudness something that makes Jaebum question if he's supposed to be here right now when he first walks in.

Everything feels out of place and it all looks different. There are decorations and art on the walls that he hadn't ever noticed before. The place looks bigger than it's ever seemed right now, and he himself feels out of place.

There was still a shitty playlist sounding from the speakers though, and although it feels weird, he's finds it more comfortable than any other time that he’s been here. He would almost prefer it.

Almost.

As long as this hookup didn't end up with him needing to use his escape route. Then, he would be a little screwed.

Jaebum is so distracted by everything that he is moving on autopilot, settling into a familiar stool without a second thought.

"I know, right?" A voice suddenly speaks out, "I feel like I can actually breathe in here for once."

So he’s here tonight, then.

Looking over he’s immediately greeted by the sight of that familiar smile, the raven-haired boy seeming excited about the change up for the night. Which, Jaebum can understand why with how crazy it got around here sometimes, even though the bartender never really seemed that bothered regardless of a crowd or not.

That’s what Jaebum had observed at this point, at least.

“Is it normally like this on Tuesdays?” Jaebum inquires, looking around again.

“It’s kind of a hit or miss with most days of the week. I really have no explanation for it. A couple Tuesdays ago it was ridiculously busy and a fight even broke out.” The bartender laughs with a shrug, leaning back against counter behind him that held up all the bottles, hand drying one of the glasses with a towel. “Maybe there’s some mass text that gets sent out to the general population around here and they all decide to show up at the same time. Who really knows.”

Jaebum hums in amusement, settling himself a bit more comfortably in his (yes, because it’s his at this point) stool.

“Want a drink?” The male prompts, and Jaebum nods.

“What’ll it be?”

“What do you think?”

The pleased look Jaebum gets tells him that the other understands without needing a hint.

He ignores how satisfied he feels to see the drink is placed down in front of him, lemon garnish and cherry included. Taking a slow sip he watches the male on the other side of the bar, following his actions with interest seeing as there was nothing else worthy of paying attention to right now. He seems comfortable, tidying up the space and straightening up the bottles and turning them so that the labels face outwards and are on display. There is a rag tucked into the back pocket of his black jeans that he pulls out to wipe shelves and space off with.

Jaebum dazes for a bit before realization hits him on what he's doing, his hand finding his phone immediately for distraction.

There is still no text from the hookup he’s meeting up with, so after a minute or so of checking his social media, his attention draws back to look to the bartender—

And he’s already looking at him. Jaebum raises his brow in question when their eyes meet.

“So, what’s got you out on this exciting Tuesday night?” The other asks. 

He isn't very eager to share his business, but at the same time, there is a part of him that wants an excuse to talk to other more. So he’ll take the chance that’s been presented.

“I’m meeting up with someone.”

The bartender nods his head, looking curious. “One of those guys from before?”

Jaebum blinks, raising a brow and grinning a little. “I wasn’t even aware that you saw another guy?” He remembered that night and how busy it had gotten, their conversation getting cut short and his own attention eventually being taken by his male companion. Jaebum hadn’t noticed the other’s attention on him at any other point but then again, he hadn’t really been looking for it. The other seems unaffected by his question though, only giving a shrug.

“I notice a lot of things. Really, I just happened to look and saw you leave with him at the last second.”

He’s honest and Jaebum can appreciate that.

Plus, it’s hard to tease someone when they make it seem incredibly normal for someone to notice such a small thing just coincidentally. He really shouldn’t even think too into it, anyway.

“Neither of them. Someone different.” Jaebum answers instead.

A small smile quirks onto the edge of the other’s lips and now he just looks amused.

“So, this is your spot, then?”

Jaebum frowns around the rim of his glass as he's taking a drink, feeling his lips purse a little at the very accurate accusation, “And if it is?” he counters, unsure if the intentions behind being called out are negative or not.

“It was just a question!” The bartender defends, laughter bubbling from his chest as he sets aside a glass, offering Jaebum a casual shrug. “It’s pretty normal, actually, for people to meet up around here. It seems to be the go-to spot when you want to—you know—“ he makes an obscene gesture that has Jaebum grinning like an idiot.

“Don't ever do that again," Jaebum teases, getting a mischievous look in return. "It’s because it’s usually packed, though. Makes for an easy get away if things go south.”

“That's what I assumed. Which, of course, just makes me even more proud to be slaving away and working here all the time.” 

The drawl in his voice is laced in sarcasm and Jaebum grins again.

“How long have you been here for? I’ve been coming here for awhile now and only ever saw you for the first time a few weeks ago.”

“Ah! That’s because I  _did_  just start a few weeks ago.” The bartender explains, leaning back against the counter once more and snatching up another glass to dry off. “I grew up around here but left for college. I moved back into town not that long ago though and needed a job. I know Brian from way back, and he suggested applying, so I did. Luckily I worked at a restaurant back where I was going to college and ended up working at the bar a lot so I actually knew what I was doing and that helped. The crowd here is on a whole other level though compared to dinner rushes. That took some getting used to.”

“I’m sure the money is good, though.” Jaebum mutters, feeling that his response is a little over-used and cliché, but fitting. The other doesn’t seem to mind, only nodding his head.

“The money is great. I’ve only been here a couple weeks and I’ve never seen my bank account have so much in it. I actually almost cried when I deposited some money into it the other day. It makes slow nights like this actually okay for once. I don't have to worry about starving.”

Jaebum smirks, shaking his head. “So you graduated then?”

“Somehow. Yes. I  _actually_  managed to graduate. You really don't understand how much of a struggle it was, don't laugh at me." he whines out, making a face at the chuckle that Jaebum hadn't even realized slipped. "But yeah. Now I’m back home, with a degree I’m putting no use into, serving drinks at a bar.” The male grins now, laughing to himself but seeming unbothered. Jaebum can’t tell if he’s truly that carefree about his current predicament or if it’s just humor being used to cover up sad reality.

“What’s your degree in?”

“Music therapy.”

That peaks Jaebum’s interest, brow raising and the other seems to catch onto his reaction, amused smile on his face as he laughs and questions why he looks like that.

“Ah—I just work for a music entertainment company. I guess I just didn’t expect that.”

“Well, what were you expecting, then?”

Jaebum makes a face, not quite sure what to answer with so he reaches for the first thing that comes to mind. “I don’t know. English major, maybe?” 

The bartender starts laughing, that unique chortle breaking from the back of his throat and Jaebum snorts. “I have a friend who would be very insulted to hear you laugh at an English major like that.” A smirk tugs on the corner of his lips when he sees the other falter, as if realizing that his response could have come off the wrong way.

“There’s nothing wrong with majoring in English! It’s just— definitely not my thing.” The male defends, pouting a little and turning to put the glass in his hand away.

“Music therapy, though? Sounds pretty specific. How many jobs out there are usually available for something like that?”

The other snorts, making a motion that directs Jaebum’s gaze to look around the club once more.

“If the job rate was anything good, do you think I’d be working here?” He smiles when Jaebum has the decency to fluster this time.

“You got me there.”

But the other just laughs, turning his attention on the glasses he had been working on and placing them into the plastic crate to be put aside and stored back into the shelves. Jaebum watches in silence before he suddenly remembers.

“Hey. What’s your name?” 

The male stands straight from where he had been squatting near the ground to set the crate aside, surprised look on his face. “Oh—wow. Yeah. I guess I don’t know your name at all either, do I?” he replies, huffing in amusement before running a hand through his hair, pushing it off his forehead and Jaebum is suddenly struck by how handsome he is.

He had acknowledged that the other was cute when he first met him but that was about it. Both times they had interacted, Jaebum’s focus had also just been in too many places at once. With the nearly-empty club and no one around to pull him away now, though, he can’t help but  _really_  look at him.

Black hair that’s longer and looking soft, styled to frame around his face endearingly. The slope of his nose and slight upturn of his lips. The mole on his neck. The mole under his one eye. It's strange, because there is nothing outwardly striking about the other – not like how his own features have been described, at least.

But he’s still very handsome. Especially when he smiles. 

Jaebum hadn’t spared his attractiveness another thought until just now, surprised that it took this long for him to realize just how good looking the bartender is.

It takes him a moment to acknowledge that he’s missed what the raven-haired male said, eyes widening a fraction and the other is laughing at the expression on his face.

”Did you even hear me at all?” The male questions, lips curled into a smile that edges on the side of a smirk, the corner of it cut suspiciously. 

“Sorry,” Jaebum mumbles out, guilty as charged and trying not to fluster at the thought of being caught ogling. He checked people out all the time, but his mind was always in a different mindset, more sexualized, so it was easy to fall into it.

But he hadn’t been flirting just then. He had been admiring.

And somehow, that feels more embarrassing to be caught doing when you’re mentally not adapted to handle it.

“I said my name. It's Youngjae. Choi Youngjae.” 

 _Youngjae._  Jaebum looks at the other, Youngjae, and feels like the name fits him. It also feels vaguely familiar, as if he’s heard it before, but it’s hard to grasp ahold of that thought and really go anywhere substantial with it so Jaebum doesn't linger on it.

“Im Jaebum.” Jaebum responds back, blinking when the other pauses, looking thoughtful.

“I’ve heard that name before,” Youngjae starts, giving Jaebum a once over as if it'll help jog his memory. “You know Brian too, yeah? He’s actually mentioned you a few times. Now I can finally put a face to the name.” he laughs, but an odd expression remains, as if he is holding back on what he wants to say next.

Jaebum raises a brow anyway, openly acknowledging the look. “What?”

Youngjae laughs and sounds embarrassed at being caught. “It’s just— do you happen to know someone named Mark?”

That catches Jaebum off guard, surprised look crossing his face before he nods. “Uh, yeah, actually. Mark Tuan?” Youngjae brow raises and he nods, the realization that they might actually have mutual friends seeming to fall on both of them simultaneously.

“Yeah, he’s like one of my best friends. I met him a few years ago when I moved here for a job promotion.”

With a nod of his head, Youngjae flushes a little, and that only furthers Jaebum's own curiosity on this new discovery.

“How do you know him?” Jaebum pushes, head tilting when Youngjae grabs at the hand towel stuffed into his back pocket and twists at it, as if anxious.

“Oh— you know. I mean, we went to school together and stuff.” Youngjae starts, shrugging and pursing his lips, using the towel in his hand to start wiping things down that Jaebum has a suspicion don’t need to be wiped down, but the other is simply doing it to have something to do.

“He’s my ex-boyfriend, too.”

Something about that jolts him in a way he’s not expecting, and Jaebum immediately recalls why the name Youngjae sounds so familiar right then, having heard it mentioned here and there within the years of friendship spent with Mark. It had only ever been a passing name within conversation though, nobody that the blond went in-depth about, and Jaebum knows that the elder has had relationships in his past but he hadn’t expected Youngjae to be one of them. 

The thoughts and images of what the two of them together would have looked like cross his mind without his control.

They aren't welcome.

“Were you guys serious?” Jaebum asks before he can even think about. 

“We dated for about two years? He was my first boyfriend. You know—the whole “first” thing in general.” Youngjae explains, lips pressing together.

It’s suddenly awkward and Jaebum doesn’t really know  _why_  it is, but it is.

Shifting in the stool, he is about to respond when his phone suddenly vibrates and catches his attention. He reads the message that appears on the screen, letting him know that the guy he was here to meet up with was now, officially, here.

Well, fuck.

Jaebum doesn’t even have sex on the brain anymore.

Now, the only thing he can think about is his best friend, Mark Tuan, dating the attractive and smiley bartender that he’s come to like, Youngjae.

“Is it about that time?” Youngjae’s voice suddenly speaks, nabbing his attention back and Jaebum looks up at him, nodding his head. Turning to look towards the entrance, he sees his hookup come through it.

Jaebum clears his throat a bit, turning to look back towards Youngjae who seems to have noticed his hookup as well, his lips pursed around an odd frown before his brown eyes move to meet his.

“I’ll see you later, Youngjae.” Jaebum says with as much ease as he can, pulling out money and setting it down, noting the look on Youngjae’s face when he notices how much it is again. Jaebum waves him off when he rears forward to try and decline it.

“Keep the change. Thanks for the drink.” Jaebum says, giving him a small smile. “And for the company.” It sounds so cheesy once he says it outloud and he wants to bite his knuckle painfully the second it slips.

Fuck, he’s gotta get out of here.

Wasting no second to look and see how Youngjae reacts, Jaebum turns to meet the male at the entrance, ignoring how he's not really in the mood any more but he knows it won’t last.

The mess of thoughts building up in his head will eventually need to be relieved at one point tonight once they all come crashing down on him.

 

 *

 

Jaebum doesn’t mention Youngjae to Mark next time they see each other, despite it being the only thing he thinks about the entire time they hang out. 

Instead, he falls into his routine once more, but this time he finds his company being shared with Youngjae at the beginning of his nights, easy conversation being passed between them. Youngjae never bothers to bring up Mark either, so Jaebum just chooses to forget that the conversation ever happened.

It’s still awkward, though, and Jaebum doesn’t know why that lingering thread of tension is there between them but he feels it every time they're around each other. Feels it pulling at him, irritating him when he doesn’t want to think about it, and when he tries to brush it away it refuses to leave. He’s not sure if Youngjae feels it. The other still smiles just as bright and greets him with his signature drink each time Jaebum shows up. Nothing on his side seems to of been affected, and really, that only makes Jaebum’s thoughts feel even more smothering to think that he could be the only one overthinking something so small.

Maybe Youngjae had just been surprised to discover that he was best friends with his ex-boyfriend. Really, when it's put like that, it makes it seem completely plausible. He had no clue if Mark and Youngjae had ended on bad terms, despite finding that hard to believe seeing as the two of them were generally very easy-going, but his mind still took him down that route. Maybe they had been madly in love. Mark had been Youngjae’s first love. First kiss. First time.

Holy shit, maybe Jaebum really needed to just stop thinking about this. Why did he even care? He shouldn't care at all. It wasn't any of his business.

“Who’s the victim for tonight?” Youngjae greets him on a moderately quiet Thursday evening. There are people, enough to fill a good amount of the space, but it's not nearly as packed as the club is capable of being.

“Victim?” Jaebum scoffs, frowning at Youngjae and feigning insult. “I’ll have you know, none of them are ever complaining by the end of the night. Victim my ass.” He ignores the laughter that comes from the other and snatches the familiar blue drink being passed his way.

“Well, I never see the same face twice. I can’t help but wonder what you do with all of them once you’re done.” Youngjae continues, falling into the playful teasing that he has come to adopt after getting to know Jaebum for the past few months. Jaebum frowns again, feeling unsure about how to respond, but the way Youngjae says it is without venom or an edge. It really is just a tease.

“I don’t fuck the same person twice. That's why you don't see them again.”

Blunt honesty was always more his forte.

His words make Youngjae falter, a slight slip in his expression that doesn't go unnoticed, and Jaebum sees the faint pinkness that comes to his cheeks. It's an odd response, if the other is simply reacting to how direct Jaebum chose to be. Especially seeing as he could be just as crude sometimes.

“Why?” Youngjae questions after a moment, looking off.

Jaebum shrugs, sipping his drink and trying to remain unbothered. “I just don’t like the whole ‘strings attached’ thing when I’m only there for the sex. It’s easier that way for me.”

“Easier?” Youngjae echoes back, Jaebum’s gaze flickering to peer at him.

“Yeah. Easier.”

“So—you wouldn’t do the whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing?” Youngjae asks, brow furrowing a little as he leans against the bar, focusing on Jaebum with an interest that he’s not quite sure how to feel about.

“It’s a proven fact that the whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing never works out. Someone always ends up catching feelings. Or getting hurt. So to answer your question: No. I wouldn’t.”

“I’ve had friends with benefits that I never developed feelings for.” Youngjae counters, lips tugged down into a frown.

Jaebum blinks, eyeing the other and then offering a shrug.

“Then maybe you weren’t the one to develop the feelings.” he suggests offhandedly, and the frown on Youngjae's deepens as he lets out a low hum.

"Does that mean you don't do relationships then, either?"

That familiar tension begins to pull at him again, the both of them staring at each other wordlessly as Jaebum hesitates with an answer and Youngjae simply waits for it, that usual openness of his face no longer there and now seeming guarded. It's a look that Jaebum is seeing for the first time, and for a second he considers turning the conversation around to focus on something else — anything to get this feeling away from him — but it catches in his throat and he can't  _not_  answer him.

"I haven't been in a relationship for a long time. Which is probably for the best." he mumbles out, "All I do is work. It's basically my entire life. What I do just doesn't fit into what a normal relationship requires and that makes things difficult because there's too many expectations. I don't have the time to try and meet them all. It's exhausting. And it wouldn't be fair to the other person involved."

"So you're happy with that? With this? Working all the time and having casual sex?" Youngjae asks, reaching for one of the messes left behind on the bar.

"Yeah. I'm happy with it."

He watches as Youngjae turns away from him to place the dirty glasses he had grabbed down into the bin where the other ones are, letting out a dramatic sigh and then finally turning back to look at him. All evidence of the expression from before is practically nonexistent as he fixes Jaebum with a smile instead. 

"As long as you're happy, I guess!" Youngjae replies back before moving to the other side of the bar to get the orders from the couple who had just stepped up.

Jaebum doesn’t know why he feels uneasy with the way their conversation ends but he doesn’t get to think about it for too long. His hookup shows up quicker than expected, and when he turns to find Youngjae, the other is suddenly nowhere within his line of vision. Jaebum leaves without saying goodbye, his usual tip stashed next to his half-finished drink, and that tension follows him as he leaves with his company for the night.

But he continues to ignore how it feels as though it's trying to pull him back. Back to where Youngjae was. 

 

 *

 

He finds himself in the company of Youngjae's charming energy, yet again, a week later.

Due to his growing work load and upcoming deadlines, it takes Jaebum a bit longer this time to get around to coming back to the night club, a week passing by faster than he could've blinked. He's thankful that tonight it's not as crowded as it could be. He tells himself that he feels that way because of his stress and not because it means Youngjae can spend more time talking to him with less people constantly in need of his attention for drinks.

Whatever unease that had built up in him from their last conversation isn't there anymore, and Jaebum does his best to just not think too much on it because he doesn't need anything else to worry about right now.

Right now he just needs his drink and his distraction.

Youngjae appears in front of him and sets down the second drink he's ordered for the night, leaning forward to rest his arms on top of the bar and shooting a grin Jaebum's way.

"So what else do you do with your life besides work and hookup with random people on dating apps?" That wasn't what they had just been talking about, but the expression on Youngjae’s face looks innocently curious, despite that teasing tone. Jaebum doesn't think too much into it, giving him a narrow-eyed look that lacks heat.

"You're about to make me make my life sound extremely sad, you know that, right?"

Youngjae cackles a little, as if he was completely aware of Jaebum's lack of a life; work and sex-life thriving be damned.

"C'mon! There has to be something else? Do you read? Watch tv or movies? Go outside?"

Jaebum scoffs, grabbing his drink and cradling it to his mouth, feigning an act of insult. "Those are things everyone does. Hardly anything special."

"Excuse you, it's all special if you're passionate about it." Youngjae defends but still seems amused.

Jaebum snorts, "Did you get that saying off Pinterest? I can practically see the curly, decorative font in my head right now." He holds down a grin when Youngjae moves forward to swipe at his arm, laughing breathily.

"Don't be rude!"

"Am I wrong, though?" Jaebum continues, jerking back quickly to avoid the second swipe aimed at him.

"Yah! You're going to make me spill my drink!" Jaebum exclaims as the bright blue liquid in his glass sloshes and nearly flows over the side and onto his hand.

"It's what you deserve. I'm just trying to get to know you more."

"Oh, are you?" Jaebum says in a low tone, brow raising as the grin on his face grows. "I'm sorry, Youngjae, but I'm already taken for the night. You're a little late."

He watches as Youngjae's face flushes as he sputters out an incredulous laugh, clearly taken off guard by Jaebum's forwardness and although he had been kidding, he's a little surprised that he said it himself, too. "I said I'm trying to get to know you, not your  _dick_." Youngjae finally exclaims, smile curling onto his lips regardless.

"There's nothing wrong with getting to know my dick, either. Now whose being the rude one?" Jaebum isn't entirely sure if this is flirting or not, but that's been a pretty frequent mood when it came to the two of them. Especially as of lately. The conversation has an easy flow and they're both grinning at each other, but they are talking about his dick right now, so it's questionable.

It's all an odd mixture of something that he hasn't been able to put his finger on yet. Youngjae is laughing though, and that's enough to keep Jaebum going until their conversation can go nowhere else.

"Well, next time you have an available appointment to get to know your dick, let me know. But for right now I'm just curious about you."

His words make Jaebum's brow raise, and he's once again not sure if Youngjae is being serious or not. Their signals are so mixed. Jaebum's on green and Youngjae's on red, only to turn green right when Jaebum goes yellow. But the other seems unbothered with what he's said, mischievous grin on his face with one brow cocked, as if challenging him to respond back to that. Jaebum takes a slow drink instead, letting the sweet taste distract him for a moment and not bothering to look away.

"Alright, then. What do you wanna know?" Jaebum finally asks, pushing his thoughts away.

"Favorite movie?" Youngjae doesn't miss a beat, looking eager to know.

"I don't have one." Jaebum answers without a second thought, and now Youngjae looks a little horrified.

"Oh no, don't tell me you're one of those people."

Jaebum huffs out a laugh. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"How do you not have a favorite movie?!"

"Maybe I like too many equally, so picking a favorite is nearly impossible?" Jaebum suggests, shaking his head. "I have a few that I've always liked but I just don't have a favorite. It all kind of depends on my mood when I'm watching them."

"Okay, then, which moves do you like?"

"Midnight in Paris. Eternal Sunshine." He lists off the first two that come to mind.

Youngjae looks visibly surprised. "Romance movies?"

Jaebum gives him a frown, "What's wrong with romance movies?" And Youngjae is shaking his head, quickly trying to quell any negative thoughts in regards to his reaction. "Nothing is wrong! I like romance movies a lot too. I guess I just didn't expect that! I envisioned you more into action movies or I don't know... mystery thrillers."

He gives the other a look and shrugs. "Action movies are cool but there isn't much thought usually put into them. I don't care for thrillers because it's all about stupid twists that I usually see coming before they're revealed and it's a little predictable."

Youngjae is listening to him with interest, genuine thoughtfulness on his face before he responds, "You don't find romance movies predictable, though?"

"They are, but I don't consider them the same kind of predictable. It's the story telling that I like about them the most."

"Well then... who knew Mr.'I-Don't-Fuck-The-Same-Person-Twice' was secretly a big softie?" Youngjae chuckles after a moment, the sudden fond expression on his face making Jaebum feel a little warm.

"My sex life has nothing to do with my preferred genre of movies." Jaebum retorts, "And I'm not a softie."

He refuses to fall into that narrative and is thankful that none of his friend were there with him right now. They would of loved to take advantage of this conversation to expose him.

"Sure you aren't." There is a honey-like warmth in Youngjae's tone that catches him off guard, but the other's attention doesn't stay when someone suddenly approaches the bar, calling him over to ask for a drink.

As if right on cue, Jaebum's phone buzzes and he looks at the message sent from the guy he's hooking up with tonight, lips pursing in dislike at the excessive usage of emojis he has been using since they exchanged numbers. He pushes the thought aside, letting him know his whereabouts and it takes no longer than a minute for him to appear, hands already eager to touch as they press against the middle of his back.

He's pretty forward, something Jaebum usually doesn't mind seeing as it gets him to his end goal for the night a lot quicker, but there is something about this guy that isn't settling right for him. It's that gut feeling that hasn't steered him wrong yet, but Jaebum continues to entertain the other for the time being and offers to buy him a drink after about five minutes of awkward small talk. The guy accepts and Jaebum turns to look for Youngjae but is surprised to see Momo there instead, brushing down her outfit, most likely having just clocked in.

Youngjae had just been there a few minutes ago and Jaebum feels a frown on his face but motions to Momo anyway, asking for a simple drink for the other to have.

The guy continues to try and flirt with him, hands moving to touch him in any way that he can while Jaebum gives very little to his responses, and the frown on his face deepens when he sees that his disinterest hasn't deterred the other at all. If anything, he just seems more eager now, and Jaebum shrugs off the hand to rubs up his arm and moves to stand from his stool, declaring it a no go in his head.

"I have to use the bathroom real quick, okay?" He forces a charming smile onto his lips when the other moves as if to go with him.

"You wait for me at the entrance? I'll just be a minute. Then we can leave together and get our night started." Thankfully, he's convincing enough, seeing as the guy grins and nods, finishing off the last of his drink and moving away to step around those in the area and head to the entrance. Jaebum watches until he's out of sight and then turns, aiming for the back of the club.

The bathrooms are there but he passes them entirely, pushing through the door with the  _'Employee's Only'_  sign and ignoring the agitation that's already beginning to build up.

Having his escape route is nice, but when it was needing to be used it also meant a night where he doesn't get to get off the way he wants, and really it just adds to the stress he's attempting to release. Jaebum is pulling out his phone to look at it, not paying attention to where he's walking until he's colliding with a body that yelps in surprise, his phone slipping from his grasp when he moves to keep the person from falling over. Jaebum is about to apologize when he suddenly realizes who it is, blinking down at Youngjae as he looks up at him incredulously, obviously thrown off as to why he had ran into Jaebum in the back of the club meant for employees only.

"What are you doing back here?" Youngjae finally asks, brow furrowing.

"I'm escaping." Jaebum replies with a wince.

Youngjae frowns and Jaebum can see him processing that response and then putting it all together, the confusion melting away and being replaced with a sly teasing grin that makes Jaebum scoff, releasing his hold on him to reach for his phone instead that he had dropped, thankful to see that the screen hadn't cracked.

"Did your dick appointment fail?" Youngjae asks with a laugh, adjusting his clothes that had gotten twisted in the midst of their collision.

He twitches a little at the words  _dick appointment_ , but brushes it off.

"It did." Jaebum responds back dully.

And then he's bringing a hand up to grab at the back of Youngjae's neck when the other starts to laugh more, fingertips digging into the muscle there until Youngjae is curling his head back towards his hand, eyes closed but still laughing at Jaebum's misfortune.

"Listen, you little brat, it's not funny." Jaebum says through clenched teeth, but he's trying hard not to grin, so it's obvious that he's not annoyed at all. The agitation that he had been feeling moments ago actually isn't there anymore, Youngjae's presence somehow managing to lift his spirits enough and bring back the mood prior that he had been feeling.

He's content — despite being made fun of right now.

"I'm sorry, this is just the first time I'm witnessing one of your great escapes. Something about you bailing out the back door here is just too priceless!" Youngjae gasps out, chortling as he peeks an eye open to look at him before that smile stretches and he starts laughing all over again.

Jaebum gives him a shake from where he's still holding his neck in retaliation, the other verbally protesting through his mirth.

"Don't you have a job you're supposed to be doing?" Jaebum changes the subject, rolling his eyes as Youngjae grasps at his chest to dramatically try and catch his breath, and he finally releases the hold he has on his neck. Youngjae brings his hand up to press against the skin there, rubbing at it soothingly.

"I'm actually off work now. I've got major overtime and they've been trying to boot me when they can."

That makes sense. Youngjae seems to always be around when Jaebum shows up, save the one time that he wasn't. Jaebum makes a sound of acknowledgment, pausing when his phone dings and he sees a message from the guy he had just ditched, asking him where he is. He curses to himself, knowing that he has to leave now before he gets found out and pulled into a messier situation than he needs. His gaze lifts to look back to Youngjae and the other is looking at him with a cute little quirk of his head, small smirk on his lips.

"Does this mean you have an available appointment right now?" Youngjae suddenly asks, catching Jaebum off guard and it takes him a moment to understand what the other is referring to, but when he does, something freezes in his chest.

Their flirting earlier hadn't been very suggestive, but that right there definitely was, and it surprises him.

Because he’s pretty sure Youngjae’s being serious about it.

Jaebum feels a little speechless, staring at Youngjae with a thrown look long enough that he sees something akin to doubt suddenly cross the other's face and before Jaebum even gets the chance to collect himself quick enough to jump on the offer, Youngjae is chuckling and bringing a hand up to hit at Jaebum's arm half-heartedly.

"I'm just kidding. Man, don't look so terrified. You're going to give me something to feel insecure about!" There is mirth in his tone but it doesn't sound right, and the smile on Youngjae's face doesn't quite reach his eyes like they normally do. "You should probably get out of here before that guy tries to find you, anyway." he continues, and Jaebum hates how he can't find his voice right now, only able to nod his head dumbly.

Youngjae hesitates for a moment, lips pressing together as if there are words that want to be said but the seam of his closed lips won't allow them to slip, and it looks as though he relents when he offers Jaebum a small smile instead.

Something about it feels softer than what Jaebum's used to.

"Have a good night, Jaebum. I'll see you next time." Youngjae says with a small wave goodbye, and then he's moving down the hallway and out the exit door that leads to the employee parking lot in the back.

Jaebum doesn't move for another thirty seconds or so, eventually releasing the breath he hadn't realized he was holding and finally making his own quick exit, once again ignoring the unsettling feeling that he had just royally fucked something up.

 

 *

 

Next time is a just a few days later and when Jaebum shows up to the night club, he immediately notes how crowded and rowdy it already seems. It's just barely turned eleven, so it's a little surprising to see it this crowded. Halfway to the bar he notices the lack of one certain raven-haired boy, and it's Brian and Momo's familiar faces rushing around from one direction to another to fill as many drinks as they can. A frown tugs on his face when Jaebum realizes that there was no possible way he would be sitting down and having a casual drink like he usually does tonight. He clicks his tongue against his teeth, hovering for a moment as he figures out what to do now.

It is quite possible that he may have showed up earlier than he needed, his hookup for the night mentioning he'd be there around midnight. Jaebum had figured he'd pass the time talking to Youngjae, but with the other not there and his stool unavailable, he feels a little put off. There was really no point in sticking around, at least inside, when it was like this and he was by himself.

The decision is made to go through the employees only door and chill outside for awhile, and Jaebum begins to push through the crowd to head towards the back of the club.

Except, there are too many people around and everything feels smothering the second he starts pushing past bodies and stumbling over feet. There is so much happening right now that it's hard to tell if he's even going in the right direction anymore, but he's hopeful that he is somewhat close to the back. Jaebum doesn't get to find out, though, as an arm suddenly wraps around his front and tugs him back against a chest, the action catching him off guard. And it's right when he's about to ram his elbow back into whoever the fuck this person was that a familiar voice suddenly speaks next to his ear.

He can practically hear the smile in it and he knows who it is immediately.

"Hey there stranger. You come here often?" They snicker as Jaebum grabs the arm still around him and removes it, turning to look over at Youngjae who has a toothy grin on his face, bright eyed and happy to see him there despite the mass chaos around them. Jaebum realizes too late he's grinning too, but he's relieved to see that the other was here after all.

"Are you not working?" Jaebum questions, suddenly noticing the change of attire.

Youngjae's hair falls on the sides of his face and forehead as it usually does, his face flushed from the humidity of the club, but it's the black leather jacket covering the low-necked white tee that he has on that catches Jaebum's eye. The expanse of skin is more than he's seen from him ever, and his gaze drops further to take in the black, tight skinny jeans that snug around his legs and —  _fuck_  — his thighs look amazing in them. Somehow he manages to look cute and sexy at the same time, and it's got Jaebum's mind short-circuiting for just a second before Youngjae's voice is bringing him back into focus.

Had he just been shamelessly checking the other out right in front of his face?

Unfortunately, yes. Yes Jaebum had. It hadn't gone unnoticed by Youngjae at all, who now has the biggest shit-eating grin on his face.

"You wanna take a picture or something? Or do you wanna just take me home?"

And really, he shouldn't be saying shit like that to Jaebum, especially if it's not gonna happen.

"You look good," Jaebum says instead, giving a one-sided shrug and playing it off like it was no big deal. Youngjae smothers the grin that tries to grow more, seeming pleased enough with his guilty response, before finally answering the question Jaebum had asked beforehand.

"I'm off tonight, and normally I'd be home and as far away from this place as possible, but it's my friend Bambam's birthday and I promised I'd celebrate with him. Figures he'd want to go to the only gay bar in the area though, right?" He chuckles a bit before bringing his drink up to take a sip. Jaebum immediately notices the familiar blue of it and feels his brow raise in surprise.

Youngjae sees him notice and a grin curls around the rim of the glass, and Jaebum can't help but note how it looks a little wicked.

It's very possible that Youngjae could be drunk right now; but nothing really gives that away just yet.

"Bambam's the one I made this drink for originally!" Youngjae explains, "He says that I have to drink it when we go out together, otherwise I'm ruining our friendship tradition."

"Well, let's hope you don't end up passed out in the bathroom with your pants down this time, yeah?"

"That was  _one_  time!” Youngjae whines out, “I shouldn't of ever told you about that. I can handle my alcohol just fine now, thank you!" 

Jaebum grins and is about to respond when the crowd suddenly seems to shift at once with the song change, the bodies behind him suddenly pushing against him and Jaebum has to catch himself as well as Youngjae when they stumble into each other and have no choice but to follow the direction everyone is moving in. Youngjae's got the hand holding his drink up above them, keeping it from being knocked out of his grasp, but he's awkwardly pressed against Jaebum's chest until they both notice an opening and manage to squeeze through it, feet stumbling over each other's when they can finally move on their own. 

It would of been awkward if Youngjae hadn't started laughing loudly halfway through, yelling out about how much he hated this place, and Jaebum could only laugh in agreement.

They've managed to escape towards the outside perimeter of the dance floor, where enough space is offered between the crowd and the nearest wall that at least people were able to move around. Jaebum doesn't think he's ever been so grateful to see a wall, to be honest, and they both lean against it to create as much space between them and the sea of bodies as they can. He ignores how he's on the opposite end of the club now, the door leading to the back of the club no where near him. Jaebum being with Youngjae at the moment makes the temptation to leave not as strong anymore.

"So, you got a dick appointment tonight?" Youngjae suddenly asks with a grin.

"Will you stop calling it that."

"That's what it is though! It's funnier to say it that way, anyway."

"You're the only one laughing right now." Jaebum points out.

"What? You don't think I'm funny?" Youngjae juts his bottom lip out in a pout that he plays off dramatically, and Jaebum rolls his eyes and uses all his will power not to grin at it - but fuck, he wants to.

"I think you're funny when you're not trying to be funny."

Youngjae blinks at that, looking confused. "But I'm always trying to be funny?"

"Exactly."

And this time Jaebum's toothy grin stretches across his face because he can't help it, laughing out loud when Youngjae realizes that he walked right into that one, his hand coming up to beat against Jaebum's chest. At this rate he's going to have a bruise but he can't find it in himself to care.

"That was mean!" Youngjae sputters out, but the bright smile on his face and flushed cheeks tell him that he's not that bothered over it.

"That couldn't of been more easy." Jaebum continues to tease, and Youngjae laughs breathily, about to respond — but a sudden voice comes out of no where before he can.

"There you are!" 

Jaebum's smile falters when he looks over to see two boys practically clawing their way out of the crowd, the taller one attempting to make some space for the shorter and skinnier one to get through and failing miserably, his lanky arms not doing much to help. The two of them look disheveled, but it's the shorter one who looks truly annoyed. He watches as the boy turns to say something to the crowd in another language once they finally manage to get out, and Jaebum has no idea what he could of said, but it certainly sounded like something bad.

"Oh! Hey Bambam, Yugyeom!" Youngjae perks up when he notices them and motions to him, "This is Jaebum."

The two newcomers look surprised when they hear his name and Jaebum can only quirk a brow as he watches them share a look and then finally turn to him with bright grins on their faces that spell nothing but trouble.

"I'm shocked that you actually exist. I literally thought you were fake. You're way hotter than I thought you would be, too. Really though, Youngjae talks about you so much I was beginning to think he made you up in order to trick me into thinking—" Bambam is cut off when the taller one, Yugyeom, suddenly wraps his arms around him from the back with lazy grin on his face.

"Yeah, l-last time we were here 'n Youngjae wouldn' shut up about you—"

They're both talking relatively fast, but Jaebum manages to catch it and feels a slow smirk curl onto the edge of his lips, looking over at Youngjae and stifling a laugh when he sees the deadpan expression now on his face. There might've been an eye twitch there too.

"Really?" Youngjae asks out loud, not amused by the two even as they start cackling, and Yugyeom sways backwards from the force of his own high-pitched laugh. Bambam quickly catches him and brings him upright once more, falling back into his sour mood with a dramatic sigh and fixing Youngjae with a pitiful expression.

"How is it that I'm not even drunk on my own birthday, but my boyfriend gets to be drunk? Shouldn't it be the other way around? Aren't there rules to relationships like this?"

"Life isn't a Seventeen magazine, Bam." Youngjae drawls out, and the other looks offended.

"I haven't read Seventeen since I was eleven. Don't downgrade me like that. It's insulting."

Jaebum smirks when Youngjae rolls his eyes.

"Yugyeom's the biggest light-weight we know. He's only had one drink and a shot. You can't get mad that he can't handle his alcohol when you're the one who told him to drink both of those."

"I can, and I will, because it's my birthday and I can do what I want."

Youngjae laughs at the scorned expression and Jaebum just listens to the exchange, relaxing against the wall.

Any other circumstances and Jaebum would of been out of here in minutes, but Youngjae was just enough bait to keep him right where he is, gaze eventually shifting to look over at the other as he talks to his friends. He watches Youngjae as he grins, eyes falling to the stretch of his lips and how they're a little chapped, slight indents pressed into the plush center of the bottom one, as if he has a habit of biting down on it a lot. Jaebum feels his throat go a little dry as he continues to take in the line of Youngjae's jaw and the soft curves of his face, the stretch of his neck, the low cut of his shirt revealing the smooth expanse of his chest.

Before his thoughts can get far too ahead of him, Jaebum's shaking his head and snapping himself out of it. Youngjae hadn't seemed to notice and he thinks he's in the clear, but when he glances over and sees the knowing look on Bambam's face, whose clearly been watching him, it tells him otherwise.

There is a smirk curled onto the younger's lips, brow raised as if to say something like  _'I saw that with my own two eyes and I will fully take advantage of this and blackmail you at some point in the future when I need to use you for my own personal gain'_.

Maybe if Jaebum buys him a birthday shot it'll buy his silence.

Or maybe he’s just fucked.

"Hey, they're gonna try and get some drinks at the bar. Did you wanna go and get one too?" Youngjae suddenly asks beside him and Jaebum looks away from Bambam to return his attention back to him, eyes falling on his lips instinctively and Jaebum has to quickly look up and hope that it goes unnoticed.

"Do they have a death wish?" The bar had to still be crowded.

"No, they have a desperate and primal need to get as drunk as they possibly can!" Bambam answers, hands finding Yugyeom's that are still wrapped around him, knowing that he'll need to hold onto his boyfriend in order to not lose him. "Youngjae, are you coming with?"

Youngjae pauses, looking between Bambam and Yugyeom and then peering up at Jaebum, as if looking for an answer.

He doesn’t quite know how to respond to it.

"What are you looking at me for? You can do what you want." Jaebum mumbles out, ignoring the thought in the back of his head that says he doesn't want Youngjae to leave him, but who was he to tell the other what to do? Youngjae seems to come to his decision easily though, holding up his own drink as he looks back to his friends.

"I'm gonna hang out with Jaebum a little bit more, but I'll catch up with you guys soon."

Bambam doesn't look surprised at all and Yugyeom just nods his head drunkenly. "It's fine. I'm gonna go see how many people I can get to buy me birthday shots!" Bambam announces before disappearing back into the crowd with his boyfriend in tow.

"If he actually manages to get to the bar, it's over for everyone." Youngjae says in a light tone, looking back to Jaebum and giving him a grin.

Jaebum makes a face and shrugs. "If he gets drunk, then he gets drunk. It's his birthday."

"You say that but you won't be the one having to deal with him and Yugyeom at the end of the night."

"I'm sure you'll make it. As long as you don't go overboard with this." 

Bringing a finger up to tap at the glass still in Youngjae's hand, his face seems to suddenly brighten, as if he had forgotten that he even had it. Jaebum watches as he takes a shameless drink and nearly drains half of what's left, licking at the corners of his mouth to swipe away the excess that catches there when he finishes. 

It doesn’t help that Youngjae’s looking at him the whole time he does this, making something twist heatedly in his gut.

And suddenly, Jaebum comes to an odd realization that Youngjae's signature drink is starting to resemble it's creator. It's bright and bold with it's vivid electric blue color, as if you're drinking pure energy itself, and its sweet taste gives you a pleasant buzz that makes you want to have another and then another and then another. Until, suddenly, you go from buzzed to drunk.

It sneaks up on you, coming out of no where with that hidden something that you can't see with your own eyes; but you can certainly feel once it finally hits.

Again, this mix of cute and sexy was really going to bother him. In more ways than one.

"So, how much longer do I have with you?" Youngjae suddenly asks, head tilting to the side as Jaebum blinks, not understanding.

"Huh?"

"Your dick appointment."

That pulls Jaebum back in real quick, giving the other an unimpressed look that only has Youngjae laughing again, clearly still finding himself funny.

"What do I have to do to make you stop saying that?" Jaebum grumbles, pulling out his phone to look at the time. 11:32 PM. It's closer to midnight than he thought. "He's supposed to be here around midnight." He looks back up and Youngjae is staring at him now, in thought about something.

"So not that long," Youngjae says slowly, and Jaebum watches as he seems to figure things out in his own head, not bothering to give him a response other than a simple nod.

"Let's play a game! If you win, I’ll stop calling the guys that you meet up with your dick appointments.”

The suggestion comes out of nowhere, and Youngjae laughs at the look he gets in response from him.

"I'm being serious."

"You want to play a game? Right now? In this club?" Jaebum clarifies.

Youngjae grins cheekily, nodding his head, a gleeful look on his face and Jaebum can't say no. He really can't.

"Alright, then. And what do you get if you win?"

”Not sure yet. I’ll figure it out at the end.”

Simple enough.

”Deal. What game?”

Jaebum watches as the other makes a thoughtful look, lips pursing as he thinks and if his eyes happen to fall on them while he does so, he's glad that Youngjae doesn't say anything when he finally speaks up and makes Jaebum look back up to him when his lips part.

"Never Have I Ever?"

The suggestion makes Jaebum laugh, amused look on his face as he leans back against the wall casually.

"Are we in highschool again?"

Youngjae just gives him another grin, moving to set his nearly empty glass on the floor between their feet and then leaning against the wall as well to mirror his posture. Without a word he brings both his hands up, stretching out all his fingers and wiggling them at him until Jaebum sighs and gives in, bringing his hands up as well.

"I'll start!" Youngjae announces, and Jaebum nods his head in agreement.

"Never have I ever fallen asleep during sex."

A mischievous grin finds Youngjae's face when Jaebum jerks a little in surprise. In his defense, he had been assuming that it would start off rather innocently, but he should of known better. There was no other way to play these kinds of games without it becoming dirty. Collecting himself quickly, he lets out a breathy laugh, putting one finger down. Youngjae's laughter immediately follows.

"How does anyone fall asleep during sex?!"

"It was an exhausting day. I hadn't slept for two days. The sex was taking way too long." Jaebum defends, smothering down a smile as Youngjae only laughs more.

"Excuses."

"Not everyone can be an energizer bunny like you, I guess."

"It's a gift. I know."

Jaebum snorts, feeling the smile he was trying very valiantly to hold down quirk onto the edge of his lip just the slightest.

"Anyway. Never have I ever thrown up and passed out with my face in it."

Youngjae lets out a gasp, mouth gaping. "That's playing dirty. You already know the answer to that! That's not how this game works!"

"But I've never done that, so it counts."

"It doesn't count if you already know I have." Youngjae counters.

"It counts. Put your damn finger down."

"I refuse to play if you aren't going to play by the rules."

Jaebum laughs to himself. "Fine then. We'll stop playing." He makes a show of putting down his hands, and Youngjae quickly reaches to grab them and lift them back up in front of him, pout on his face finally making Jaebum fail at hiding his smile.

"We're playing. You're just going to play fair now."

He watches with satisfaction as Youngjae puts a finger down, accepting his fate. 

"Okay. I'll play fair." Jaebum finally relents, putting a single finger down again and then nodding for him to continue.

"Never have I ever cheated on someone."

Jaebum blinks, brow raising and keeping his remaining nine fingers up. Youngjae looks a little pleased at that and it makes him scoff.

"Did you think I was going to put a finger down for that one?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Wow." Jaebum acts offended but Youngjae grins at him and he decides to just let it go.

“Never have I ever slept with someone from my workplace."

He's visibly surprised when Youngjae puts down a finger, the other’s flustering a bit and chuckling. "Not my proudest moment," he comments, and Jaebum continues to stare at him silently until he sighs and gives in. "It was one time back in college when I worked at that bar. He flirted with me constantly. I wasn't taking it that seriously but you know what, sometimes things just happen. I’m not going into details. Don't look at me like that."

"I've just never been the type to let those two things mix. It’s a disaster waiting to happen."

"Yeah. It was awkward afterwards. Lesson learned, and all.” Youngjae shrugs his shoulders. "Never have I ever gotten into a physical fight with someone."

Jaebum snorts, immediately putting a finger down and then frowning when Youngjae laughs.

"That doesn't surprise me."

"Yeah. I fall into the stereotype and I know it." He grumbles out, rolling his eyes when Youngjae nods in agreement.

"You do but it's not a bad thing. It's actually kinda hot."

Jaebum raises a brow, lips curling in amusement and chuckling at the playful wink sent his way.

"Never have I ever sent nudes."

Youngjae puts a finger down, flustering a little this time and giving him a critical look. "You've never sent a nude?"

"I feel like I should be offended by that, but no. I don't send nudes. Now, will I accept nudes sent to me?  _Absolutely._ "

"I'm actually shocked. I figured you would of at least sent someone a dick pic or something corny like that."

"I don't think dick pics are appealing in anyway. If anything, it makes me not want to have sex with someone."

Youngjae laughs, smile stretching across his face and he nods, accepting his logic.

"Never have I ever said the wrong name during sex."

Jaebum puts a finger down, shrugging.

"It happens sometimes."

"They don't get pissed off?"

"Not really. They either don't say anything or they just correct me."

"How considerate." Youngjae muses.

"Never have I ever gone skydiving." Jaebum throws an easy one out there, grasping for something. He really wasn't that great at these games. Youngjae keeps his fingers up though, vehemently shaking his head at the sheer thought of it. "I can't even handle rollercoasters. The last thing I need to be doing is jumping out of a plane."

"I'd do it. I just haven't gotten the chance to."

"You're crazy." The other says, giving him a wide eyed look before continuing the game.

"Never have I ever gotten arrested."

Another finger down. Another expectant look of explanation.

"I've gotten into physical fights before, remember? College parties were pretty crazy and one just got a little out of hand. Some guy pissed me off - I can't even remember why now - but we ended up fighting out on the front lawn on the house we were at and the cops showed up. I got arrested because I fought back a bit when they tried to handcuff me. It didn't help that I was drunk, but yeah. Ended up spending the night in jail and my parents had to bail me out the next day. It was a great conversation."

"I think I would cry if I had to spend the night in jail." Youngjae chortles out.

"I passed out pretty fast so I don't remember much besides it being uncomfortable." Jaebum shrugs and moves on. "Never have I ever sent a dirty text to the wrong person."

Youngjae's finger goes down and he flushes again.

"I actually don't want to explain that.”

"You don't need to. I've heard horror stories, though." Jaebum grins.

"I haven't sexted since. It was traumatizing."

Jaebum chuckles at his sullen tone and face, shaking his head before getting himself together, teeth biting his bottom lip when he sees the sulk that's found it's way to Youngjae's face.

"Never have I ever had a threesome." Youngjae continues after a moment, and Jaebum makes a face as he puts down a finger, officially on one hand now. Youngjae smirks at him, seeming to have recovered from his previous embarrassment.

"I feel like you already knew the answer to that one." Jaebum accuses.

"There's no actual way you can prove that, but I might've had a feeling."

Jaebum looks exasperated at his own predictability.

"Never have I ever done hard drugs."

Youngjae keeps the remaining fingers up. "No way in hell." he retorts and Jaebum nods in agreement.

"Never have I ever had sex with someone 10 years older than me."

Jaebum puts down a finger, shooting him a glare when that smirk comes back. "Never have I ever had sex with a friend's significant other." he starts, not giving him the pleasure of that story.

Once more, Youngjae's fingers remain up. "That's a pretty shitty thing to do."

They both nod in agreement again.

"Never have I ever had sex in public."

Jaebum puts another finger down.

"Never have I ever had sex in an elevator."

Youngjae's fingers remain up and there is a grin on his face again.

"Getting specific now, are we?"

"It was a legit question." Jaebum defends himself, ignoring the fact that perhaps his curiosity has been a bit peaked about the other's sex life now.

"Never have I ever had sex in a car."

Another finger goes down and Jaebum frowns when he sees that he only has two fingers remaining compared to Youngjae's six.

"This game doesn't seem very fair anymore," Jaebum mumbles out, frowning a little when Youngjae grins cheekily.

"You're just saying that because you're losing." The tease in his voice makes Jaebum frown more, eyes narrowing at him because he's right. Jaebum hates losing. Which was why he didn't play games like this to begin with. It's not like he can back out now though - he still has his pride on the line.

"Never have I ever had sex in a bathroom." Jaebum continues, blinking when Youngjae still doesn't put a finger down.

"I'm actually surprised that you've had sex in a car but not a bathroom."

"I'd have to be pretty desperate and really horny to fuck someone in a bathroom."

Youngjae laughs, shrugging his shoulders. "Maybe! It happens all the time here, though. Some people just can't wait. Hm- Never have I ever given a blowjob in public."

Jaebum sulks as he puts another finger down, rolling his eyes when Youngjae starts laughing.

"Never have I ever lied."

The laugh stops abruptly, a sound of protest coming from the other and Jaebum knows he's playing dirty again, but he's getting desperate at this point. Youngjae looks like he's about to say something before his gaze flickers to the one single finger still standing, and then seems to relent. Instead, he lets out a sigh, putting a finger down. "Fine. I'll take pity on you."

Jaebum brings that one finger to poke at his stomach, holding down a smirk when Youngjae flinches and lets out something that sounds suspiciously like a giggle, hand immediately coming to shield himself.

"Don't get pissy because you're going to lose."

"You've just reminded me as to why I haven't played games like this since I was sixteen." Jaebum snarks, rolling his eyes.

And then Youngjae goes in for the all kill.

"Never have I ever got caught watching porn."

The look on Jaebum's face says it all, and he puts his last finger down, feeling the weight of all his shame and disappointment fall with it. Youngjae brings both arms up with a happy sound of success, cheshire grin stretched across his face and Jaebum feigns annoyance in order to hide away just how fond he is over the excitement that the other has at winning such a dumb game.

"Congrats." Jaebum drawls out in a monotone voice, biting the inside of his cheek to keep down a smile when Youngjae laughs breathily and pushes at his chest playfully.

"C'mon! That was fun! I know so much more about you now." His laughter continues and Jaebum rolls his eyes, light feeling of mirth bubbling in his own chest. "I can't believe you actually got me to play that with you in this place." he muses, peering around the club as the music still blasts and everyone continues to dance and remain in their own worlds.

"Not everyone can be innocent like me. Don't take the loss personally."

Jaebum makes a face, looking back to Youngjae and fixing him with a look that clearly said he didn't believe that. "Innocent my ass. You're a devil in disguise."

The laughter that follows finally makes him grin, a slow stretch of his lips as he notes how Youngjae doesn’t even bother denying it. Their eyes meet again and he quirks a brow at the look he's given. 

"What?" Jaebum asks.

"I get my prize then, since I won." Youngjae starts, and Jaebum let’s out a heavy sigh, realizing that he’ll have to hear the words  _‘dick appointment’_  still but accepting his defeat.

"Alright, what is it?"

"Do you really wanna know?" The other asks, something in the low tone of his voice making Jaebum pause, pulse jumping at the sudden shift between them and it makes him feel a little dizzy. Staring at him for a moment, he wonders if he does want to know or not, before swallowing and nodding his head wordlessly. Youngjae moves in closer and into his space then, his feet hitting the glass that had been forgotten about on the floor between them but it's kicked aside, their gazes not breaking. "All I want is-“ Youngjae begins, face falling into an expression that draws Jaebum in, his bright, brown eyes looking at him in a way that makes his breathing become shallow, a tension immediately beginning to thicken between them.

"A kiss." He finally finishes, eyes falling to look down at Jaebum's own mouth with a look of curiosity and want, and it makes Jaebum hot. It's just a kiss. It's not like he initiated sex or anything, and Jaebum's been around people who were much more forward and who have said much dirtier things, but he stills feels his heart beat accelerate and thump heavily in his chest. Their eyes meet again for one second before Jaebum’s own eyes drop back to the lips that he had been admiring not that long ago, too close now and too tempting, and it's when Youngjae reaches out to grab onto his jacket and pull him in closer to brush their lips together, a whispered  _'please'_  slipping from him, that Jaebum finally gives in and brings his hands up to grab at his face and pull him in.

Their lips press together eagerly, a pleased noise slipping from the back of Youngjae's throat and Jaebum swallows it, one of them deepening the kiss. At this point Jaebum doesn't even know who. All he knows right now is the slide of their lips, and when Youngjae licks into his mouth, Jaebum can taste the sharp sweetness of the blue drink on his tongue, the taste of it addictive. Youngjae's arms wrap around his neck to pull him in and Jaebum wraps his own arms around his waist, moving to turn them and press Youngjae against the wall.

He's not sure how long they're there, wrapped up in each other and heavily making out as the club continues to party around them, but Jaebum could do this all night.

Unfortunately, he doesn't have all night.

They're close enough that when Jaebum's phone goes off and vibrates in his pocket, Youngjae feels it against his hips and it makes him jerk in response, pulling away with a gasp and looking down to where he had felt it. Jaebum's eyes haven't left his face, taking in the pretty swell of his lips and the flush that spreads all the way to his chest, and his attention doesn't sway until he feels a wandering hand against his leg, sliding up slowly and then sinking into his pocket to pull out his phone.

Jaebum swallows at the thickness in his throat, watching as Youngjae peers at the screen and at the message that's on it before finally looking up at him, giving him a small smile.

"Looks like my times up," Youngjae mumbles out, handing the phone over and Jaebum takes it without thinking, looking at the message as well and - yeah - it was his hookup for the night.

"Open up your contacts list?" Youngjae suddenly asks, staring expectantly and Jaebum just obeys, putting in the passcode of his phone and then handing it off once it's pulled up. Youngjae takes it with one hand and focuses for a moment to put in his information, and then hands it back to Jaebum, who looks down at the new contact under the name  _'Youngjae'_  with a music note emoji next to it.

He looks back up when he feels Youngjae slide out from underneath him, stepping away and giving him a playful wink.

"I'll see you later."

Jaebum can only watch as he walks away, dumbfounded look stuck on his face until he has to eventually find the guy that's waiting for him.

Except when he finds him, every part of him rejects the advances that the male attempts to make, and Jaebum gets so irritated that he puts a stop to the entire thing, choosing to go home alone instead with his frustrations simmering beneath his skin.

 

* 

 

He is not at the night club tonight to meet anyone, and the sheer knowledge of it makes Jaebum want to crawl out of himself, because this wasn't something that he has done yet. There is no text message to wait for tonight. No person who will be taking his attention at some point and then dragging him away.

He's there for a drink.

As well as one other person.

Except, when Jaebum takes a seat at the bar, he notices that it's only Brian working tonight and Youngjae is nowhere to be found.

And the sour taste of the single drink he sips on is nothing in comparison to the disappointment sinking into his chest for the remainder of the night.

Jaebum still doesn't touch the number in his contacts list, though.

 

 *

 

Work doubles when he least expects it and Jaebum doesn’t even have time to use any of his apps to look for a hookup, let alone look at his phone at all.

He’s spending more hours than he wants cooped up in the studio at his job, doing his best to not pull his hair out or go gray before he even turns thirty. He hasn’t been to the night club in almost two weeks.

His thoughts linger to Youngjae and their last moment together from time to time when he realizes the span of time it’s been, but it only lasts for a moment before he’s pulled away and focusing on arranging the song he had been working on the past few days. Or working on the multiple albums that were lined up to release soon. Or the new song that still needed the lyrics to be finalized before they could even begin to go any further with it. The list could go on and on, at this point. He's been working nonstop and the end of it all is so close but still not quite there yet.

The number that had been saved into his phone has still gone unused due to Jaebum just not having the time to think about it.

It has nothing to do with him not knowing what to say or text first.

Jaebum is in his office now, head leaned back against his leather chair, jacket thrown over his face and seconds away from nearly crashing right there when the door to his office flies open and makes him jump in surprise.

“What are you doing? Are you going to sleep?” Jackson’s voice breaks the lull of silence that had been swaying Jaebum into a tempting slumber, and he already knows he’s got a grumpy look on his face by the way that Jackson is grinning, pleased to of caused it.

“Leave me alone.” Jaebum growls, running a hand across his face, but Jackson doesn’t budge.

“We’re basically almost done, dude. It’s time to pre-celebrate. You can sleep later after you’ve had a few drinks and partied with your best friends.”

Jaebum frowns, slouching into his chair. He feels like molasses, he’s got dark circles under his eyes, he is in no shape to be going out for drinks right now.

“I really don’t—“ Jaebum starts but Jackson is moving quickly, snatching up the jacket that had slid down his face and onto his chest and then yanking him out of his chair with unnecessary force. Jaebum glares this time, shoving the brunet’s hands away with a wordless complaint, ruffled by the rough treatment. 

“I don’t think you get it, Jaebum. You don’t have a choice tonight. You’re coming out with us. You deserve to let loose!” Jackson moves to sidle up behind him, hands grabbing his shoulders and massaging at the tension there. Jaebum can’t help but sigh into it, frown still etched into his face.

“I’d rather sleep.”

“And you can sleep! Afterwards. C’mon!” Jackson exclaims with bright laughter, steering Jaebum towards the door and he finally gives in with a long-winded groan, managing to push the other away and walk on his own halfway down the hallway.

He’s not sure where else he expected them to end up, but Jaebum is still put off when the familiar night club comes into view.

“I’m ready to get drunk!” Jackson shouts, throwing the door open from where he’s sitting in the backseat and hopping out, Mark following behind him with light-hearted laughter. 

“If I end up having to drag your drunk ass to my car and back to the apartment again, Jackson, there will be consequences.” Jinyoung threatens as he turns off the car and steps out, Jaebum eventually following behind, blinking at how crowded the club already was. It was around midnight. He's still wearing his work clothes, some black jeans and brand shirt, and his look is casual because he hadn’t been planning to go out. Jaebum reaches into the car with a second thought to grab his leather jacket, slipping it on in hopes that it’ll balance him in some way.

“Our night is just starting and you’re already threatening me, Jinyoungie? I thought JB would of been the first to need a shot but maybe it's you instead.”

Jinyoung and Jaebum glare at Jackson at the same time and he throws his head back to gleeful laugh, their combined wrath clearly not effective. Instead, he moves to rush Mark towards the entrance in his excitement, leaving them to follow behind.

It’s loud and humid, already feeling familiar despite his significant absence, and without realizing it Jaebum’s eyes shift towards the center of the club where the bar is located, feeling an immediate coil of heat in his gut when he sees Youngjae standing behind it and making drinks.

They haven't talked in weeks, not since randomly making out with each other, but his feet start to move on their own accord, an itch growing beneath his skin that draws him closer and closer. Jaebum squeezes between bodies and rests his elbows up on the bar top, having noticed that someone was already sitting in his spot.

He’ll let it slide this time.

It takes Youngjae a moment to notice him, handing off the drinks he had made and moving his hands quickly to pick up tips left behind and receipts.

“What can I get you?“ The other acknowledges that someone is there, but his eyes are still fixated on cleaning up a spill in front of him and Jaebum can’t help but smirk.

“How about my usual.” Jaebum answers in a light tone, smirk widening when Youngjae’s hands fumble and his head lifts quickly in surprise, and for a moment Jaebum thinks he sees relief in his wide eyes.

The smile that follows makes Jaebum’s chest clench, the itch beneath his skin stretching. Fuck, was it possible to miss a smile?

“You’re alive!” Youngjae exclaims, seeming excited and once more relieved that Jaebum is there. It makes that feeling in his chest grow, warming into something akin to fondness and suddenly the exhaustion and tiredness that had been wearing down on his body is gone in an instant.

“Barely, but yeah. Work is trying to kill me.”

Youngjae laughs, motioning to the chaos around him and nodding his head, “Yeah, I can relate!”

“Maybe you need a drink too.” Jaebum muses, watching as the other laughs in agreement and turns away to start making his drink.

A sudden hands grasps at his shoulder out of nowhere, making him jump. 

“There you are. We were wondering where you disappeared off to,” A deep voice says beside him and Jaebum turns to look to Mark as he takes up the open space that conveniently appears.

“A little eager to get drunk, are we?” Mark jokes with a grin and Jaebum snorts, waving him off.

“Here, I made it extra strong for you, too!” Youngjae’s voice catches both their attention, and Jaebum pauses when he sees him suddenly look to Mark beside him, recognition crossing his face.

"Mark?"

Suddenly, the realization that he had forgotten about that one conversation, the one where Youngjae admitted to being Mark's ex, washes over him and fills him with a tense feeling of something that he's not prepared for. Jaebum looks over to Mark and sees the surprise written on his usual stoic features, as well.

“Youngjae?” Mark blinks owlishly and Jaebum doesn’t know what to do, so he stays silent and continues to watch.

“Yeah!“ Youngjae responds with a dazzling smile that makes his entire face light up, setting down Jaebum’s drink in front of him but still focused on the other.

“I heard that you were back but I didn't know you worked here?” Mark questions, head tilting to the side and his tone has reverted back to his normal one, but Jaebum can tell that he is still genuinely surprised.

Youngjae flusters, looking a little sheepish, “Brian got me the job. I didn't know if he would tell you or not and I know you’re pretty busy with your life so I didn't want to contact you or anything. It felt a little out of place after so long.” Youngjae’s eyes suddenly flicker over him and Jaebum looks away to grab his drink, suddenly in absolute need of the buzz that the alcohol can provide.

“It would never be out of place. Why would you think that?”

“Because I'm your ex?” Youngjae answers, seeming a little unsure.

Mark, on the other hand, smiles and lets out a laugh, catching both Youngjae and Jaebum off guard.

“That was years ago, you dork. I didn’t hold it against you then and I wouldn’t hold that against you now, either. You know I still care about you.”

The creases that had furrowed onto Youngjae’s face seem to lighten up at that, a small, sweet smile curling onto the edge of his lips and it’s  _cute_. The sudden shyness that he is presenting to Mark is a side to Youngjae that Jaebum hadn’t ever seen before, and there is a prickling beneath his skin that makes him want to scratch until his skin peels away. Something tightens in his chest, around his throat, in the knuckles of his fingers.

The conversation happening between these two seems personal, and Jaebum feels like he’s invading on a moment that wasn’t meant for him to witness.

Mark has soft smile on his face and the one on Youngjae’s is suddenly a mirror to it, and that tight feeling in Jaebum's chest begins to burn. He brings his drink to his lips to take a sip but all he can taste is a seething froth of sweet bitterness, and it’s right then that Jaebum realizes that he’s jealous. 

A tremble comes to his hand and he is not in the right state of mind right now to comprehend all of this.

The sip he’s taking turns into a full on chug, throwing back the rest of his drink and then setting the glass down on the bar with a little more force than he'd meant. The loud clatter of it meeting the hard surface shakes Youngjae and Mark from each other and Youngjae’s face seems to pale when he notices whatever look Jaebum is wearing on his face.

Jaebum doesn’t know what he looks like but he’s always been shit about hiding his emotions when he's upset. Whatever it is, it's probably written all over him.

He feels hot, face burning and jaw clenching as he runs a hand through his hair and pushes himself away from the bar. “I’ll leave you two to catch up. I’m gonna go find Jinyoung and Jackson.” he mutters out, not bothering to spare either of them a second glance before moving away and pushing into the crowd, seeking out the familiar faces of his friends and eventually finding them near the dance floor but pushed towards one of the walls, attempting to avoid the mass of bodies dancing.

He does not acknowledge that it's the very same wall he had had Youngjae pressed against a few weeks ago.

Jackson’s got a tray of shots in his hand that he probably sweet talked off one of the shot girls walking around, and his face brightens the second Jaebum comes into view. The brunet picks up one of the shots, hips wiggling as he dances goofily and stretches his hand out to offer him it.

Jaebum takes it without a second thought, downing it and sucking the strong taste of vodka through his teeth before tossing the empty glass onto the tray.

Jackson’s eyes are wide now, mouth parted and startled by Jaebum's sudden eagerness. He doesn’t need to look at Jinyoung to know that his best friend is already trying to calculate what has shifted him into such an aggressive mood.

“Where’s Mark?” Jinyoung asks after a moment, arms crossed over his chest.

“By the bar. With Youngjae.” Jaebum answers, reaching for another shot and Jackson squawks, grabbing one for himself.

“Woah! Slow down and save some for the rest of us, will you? I’m the one who originally wanted to get drunk here!” Jackson whines out.

“Youngjae?” Jinyoung repeats, looking surprised and Jaebum can see that unlike himself, Jinyoung seems to realize who he’s talking about without needing the explanation.

“Yeah. They’re making moon eyes at each other while they reconnect.”

He sounds bitter and he feels even more so. If there could be a personified version of the word bitter; it would be him right now. It’s all bubbling up to a boiling point, feelings and thoughts he hadn’t wanted to acknowledge suddenly coming forth without him being able to control it this time.

At some point, Youngjae had managed to get under his skin, and Jaebum just doesn't know how to handle.

Which, yeah, they have flirted shamelessly and made out once, but there was still nothing established between the two of them that justified Jaebum feeling the way that he did right now.

He had become extremely fond of Youngjae, having gotten used to the other and his warmth and bright personality over the course of the past few months. He even found himself getting more eager and excited to sit across from the other to talk with him rather than getting excited over the eventual hookups that he'd go home with.

Im Jaebum had developed feelings for Choi Youngjae and he had stealthily ignored them until just then, at the bar, when the harsh realization came to him that Youngjae actually wasn’t his in any way, and that he could be anyone’s at any time and Jaebum had no real say in it. This possessiveness was something that he rarely felt, and it bothers him that Youngjae could spark it like a fire so quickly and without even knowing that he's doing it.

Ultimately, he just feels like a fucking asshole for getting angry over something like that, and that only makes him down the next shot in his hand with more fervor.

How he had let himself develop feelings for someone after taking the steps to not let that happen, Jaebum would never know.

This was why strings becoming attached were so dangerous.

They could become entangled and twisted in knots that he was just not capable of understanding on how to repair or fix.

The only difference was Jaebum didn’t know when their strings began to really become twisted in one another. He doesn’t know the severity of where they’re at right now. Doesn’t know if his string is twisted more than Youngjae’s. The raven-haired had said himself that he had never been the one to develop feelings in the situations of friends with benefits, and Jaebum starts to sweat at the thought that it could be one-sided.

“Are you alright, Jaebum?” Jinyoung is closer than he was before and Jaebum blinks, snapping back into reality and remembering that he’s at the club, the noise suddenly crashing over him and drowning him. His chest feels heavy, breathing suddenly something he has to work for, and Jinyoung is reaching to grab the back of his neck, dragging him in and giving him a sincere look of worry.

“Bummie?” The affectionate name slips with Jinyoung's concern, frown pulling at his lips and Jaebum inhales slowly, eyes closing as he finally breathes.

“I’m fine. I just—really need some stress relief.” Jaebum mumbles out, pulling away from Jinyoung’s grasp and seeing the understanding on his best friend’s face. Jinyoung was sharp-tongued and the first to knock him off his pedestal when he saw fit, but he was also Jaebum’s best friend for a reason. Being openly vulnerable in any way was extremely out of character for Jaebum, but the one thing that always managed to make him the most irrational would be stress. The entire ‘stress reliever’ journey that his friends had sent him on had had significance. It hadn’t just been a casual conversation brought up randomly. It had been a concern for him and how he was handling himself, and what they could do to help it.

“Alright then. But we’re going to talk later.” Jinyoung finally gives, stepping away with a frown and suddenly Jackson is appearing once more, having disappeared into the crowd at some point. He looks like he’s about to say something before he realizes the seriousness of the other two’s posture, concerned expression crossing his face.

“What’s going on?” His hands waver in the air like he’s afraid to move too fast, as if Jinyoung or Jaebum (more so Jaebum) would snap if he did so.

“Jaebum’s gonna go find someone to spend the rest of his night with, Seunie.” Jinyoung answers without a single breath of hesitation. Anyone who wasn’t apart of their small group might of found discomfort in the bluntness, but Jackson responds well to the honesty and immediately goes into his supportive-friend-mode.

“Alright, man! You know I'm always here to encourage a healthy sex life. You've got my blessings! Go get 'em!”

“Thanks.” Jaebum deadpans as he leaves, merging into the crowd but then he’s being stopped when a hand comes out of nowhere to catch him. He blinks, looking up and then freezing when he sees Mark, who looks a little worried but there is also an expression on his face that Jaebum’s never seen before.

“What?” Jaebum asks, trying not to seem too snippy, but his tone has an edge to it. That tension has returned and he wants to take his arm back but Mark hasn’t done anything to deserve his unnecessary anger and Jaebum is trying really hard to stay calm.

“I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you, partially because I didn't even know you both knew each other before this, but you should really stop.” 

It makes him lurch backwards, taken off guard by Mark’s words and feeling like an injured dog, wanting to make an escape and find a place of solitude to lick at his wounds. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He moves to take his arm back but Mark’s grip tightens, head shaking as his frown deepens.

“Youngjae. And you.” Mark clarifies, and Jaebum inhales through his nose, jaw clenching and Mark is far too observant to miss any of it and Jaebum hates himself even more now.

Why did he always have to be so obvious—

“There’s nothing going on between us.” 

“Then why are you suddenly acting like a jealous boyfriend?”

Well, that was a punch to the gut. Jaebum swallows around the sharpness in his throat, feeling like the alcohol he’s been shooting back is trying to make it’s way back up in vain. “I—I’m not—“ he starts, shaky breath slipping and Mark looks concerned now.

“There’s nothing going on between Youngjae and me.”

They both know why he's clarifying that but Jaebum still refuses to acknowledge it.

“Why do you think I would care about what goes on between you two?”

“Don’t treat me like I’m stupid, Jaebum. I know you too well. And, actually, I know Youngjae too well too. You’re both being ridiculous and I don’t know why, but it’s probably not what you think.”

Jaebum’s ears are burning, chest rising and falling with more effort now and he doesn't understand what Mark means when he mentions Youngjae being ridiculous as well. None of it makes sense. And if in some way it could make sense, Jaebum doesn’t want to try and figure it out tonight. He wants to push off all of these feelings until he can find a more appropriate moment to acknowledge them and then deal with them.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jaebum repeats, words seething before he pulls his arm away successfully and finally escapes back into the crowd, leaving his friends behind and staying as far away from the bar as he can.

It doesn’t take him long to find someone. In the crowd, where everyone is touching everyone, eager bodies press against his own and everything around Jaebum fades until it becomes a blur of a routine that he knows all too well, this time just without the help of his apps. His mouth finds the lips of some guy who seems younger but clearly interested. He’s got black hair, but it’s too short. There is a small bump on the ridge of nose. His lips are full but they don’t stretch into a bright smile. He’s got no moles whatsoever. He’s just enough to help Jaebum take the edge off without having to fully acknowledge that he’s looking for traits of Youngjae. 

The alcohol is beginning to take effect and before Jaebum knows it, he can feel the buzzing of it in his head. He's not trashed by any means but it's helping numb the emotions that he's trying so hard to ignore.

And he's doing a great job, pulling the guy he's been dancing with in closer but suddenly there's a hand on his arm again. Jaebum turns expecting to see Mark but his heart immediately stops when he sees Youngjae looking at him instead.

The other has a pained look on his face, swallowing when he looks from Jaebum to the other guy before his expression morphs into one of determination, hand tightening around Jaebum's arm and then pulling him towards him. He doesn't even try to fight it, heart thumping in his chest and he thinks he hears the guy he was dancing and making out with complain about something, but Youngjae shoots a look that backs the other off fast. And then Jaebum is stumbling through the crowd, feet trying to keep up with what is happening as Youngjae drags him through the sea of bodies and towards a familiar door.

"Youngjae—" Jaebum starts, shouldering past someone who falls into him and finally gaining some sense, putting on the brakes and using his own strength to pull the other to a stop and back in towards him. “What are you doing?"

"What are  _you_  doing?" Youngjae counters, throwing him a look.

Jaebum’s mouth parts and he stares, the buzz of alcohol suddenly not helping at all to tame the emotions that are bubbling back to the surface with Youngjae here and in front of him again. He wants to say something spiteful, feels the words pressing against his teeth, a snide comment about Mark or about Youngjae needing to go back to his job at the tip of his tongue, but it never comes.

Instead, frustration only grows in it's place, a sigh heaving from his chest as he runs a hand through his hair, pulling at the strands between his fingers.

"I'm just trying to relieve some stress, Youngjae."

"Because of me?"

Jaebum blinks, surprised by Youngjae's words and looking at him, not knowing how to respond.

Youngjae looks frustrated, but about what specifically, Jaebum couldn't even begin to assume at this point. His silence only stretches until Youngjae turns, hand pulling him along through the club once more, eyes drawing Jaebum in to follow obediently despite the chaotic mess of emotions currently brewing within him.

They walk through the door made for employees, the noise from the club fading to a low hum when they're left alone in the small hallway and the door shuts behind Jaebum. Then, Youngjae turns and surges forward, hand finally releasing Jaebum's arm but pressing against his chest to push him against the door instead. Jaebum's breath leaves him immediately when his back meets it, eyes widening when Youngjae crowds into his space.

"Am I the reason you're stressed, Jaebum?" Youngjae asks again, holding his gaze and Jaebum feels like the only thing he can do is slowly nod his head, a silent affirmation to the question. Youngjae's fingers press into his chest and Jaebum watches as he leans in closer to brush his lips against the shell of his ear, making him shudder.

"Then why don't you let me make it up to you and help you relieve some of that?"

And there is really no misinterpreting it this time around. Jaebum knows exactly what Youngjae means and it sets everything that he's been feeling up until this very moment ablaze, a fire forming deep in his gut and their lips are molding together desperately seconds later. Jaebum again doesn't know who initiated it, and he really doesn't care anymore with how Youngjae's body pressing up against his, his hands coming to dig into his hair and deepen their kiss, exploring each other’s mouths. Jaebum's hands find purchase on the hips against his own, groaning when Youngjae tugs at his bottom lip and pulls him away from the door, both of them stumbling back down the hallway.

"Where are we going," Jaebum manages to mumble out, having no clue where Youngjae is taking them and for a moment he thinks they're going towards the exit that leads to the parking lot but then they're turning and Youngjae's shoving the both of them through a restroom door.

It's a single-use, one clearly made for the employee's to use, and Jaebum has a brief moment of relief that it’s actually clean and looks nothing like the disaster that the restrooms offered to the clubgoers look.

”You’ve gotta be kidding me-“ He still mumbles out before his back meets this door as well, groan slipping past his lips before Youngjae's are muffling it.

It’s getting hot with the leather jacket that he’s wearing still on, and Jaebum mutters something out that gets Youngjae’s hands moving, yanking the garment off and tossing it aside, fingers running up his arms and pulling Jaebum in closer. With the way that Youngjae is pressing up against him, hips grinding down into his own and small needy sounds slipping when Jaebum’s hands reach down to cup his ass, it doesn’t take long before his cock is filling and hardening in his jeans. He rolls his hips to meet Youngjae’s and the other gasps when he feels the hardness there, pulling away and dropping to his knees.

Jaebum watches him with dazed eyes, chest heaving as Youngjae lifts his shirt to press his lips against the hot skin there, fingers working quickly to unbutton his jeans and yank them down. Jaebum lets out a string of curses when Youngjae mouths over his boxers, sucking at the hardness that the thin fabric still covers and making Jaebum’s hips thrust forward. “Fuck, don’t tease me.” he growls out.

Youngjae grins below him but Jaebum doesn’t have it in him to say anything about it, especially when hands finally pull his boxers down and his cock is out, pre-cum already beading at the tip.

A hand comes to grip the base of it and Youngjae wastes no time pressing his lips against the head, tongue poking out to swipe across the slit and Jaebum is groaning deep in his chest, hand coming up to slip into the other’s hair, fingers tighting with his hold. There’s a desperate plea about to escape but Youngjae doesn’t seem like he’s interested in playing around, mouth taking in the head and creating an addictive suction, Youngjae’s tongue swirling and doing something amazing that makes Jaebum choke on his own spit.

“Shit!“ Jaebum bites out, words dying off when the heat from Youngjae’s mouth sinks further and he takes more of his length in.

Jaebum’s head thunks back against the door supporting him, eyes closed and mouth parted when Youngjae starts to bob his head and suck him off, picking up a quick pace, hand gripped at the base of his cock pumping what his mouth can’t reach. Youngjae’s tongue presses flat against the underside of Jaebum’s length and drags up with every thorough suck and Jaebum can feel his legs start to tremble as his orgasm begins to build deep in his gut.

”Fuck, Youngjae- just like that-“ He pulls at the hair in his hands and shudders when Youngjae moans around him, making Jaebum’s hips thrust forward. 

Both of Youngjae’s hands suddenly grip at his thighs and Jaebum’s eyes practically roll into the back of his head when Youngjae deep throats him, and he can feel the nails digging into the muscles of his thighs and it only turns him on more.

Jaebum then makes the mistake of looking down.

Youngjae’s eyes are looking up at him, and the entire scene is so obscene and hot that Jaebum inhales sharply through his nose and thrusts forward again, not missing the way Youngjae’s eyes flutter and he sucks back encouragingly. Jaebum sees the silent plea and his hips find a pace that Youngjae eagerly matches and this time Jaebum can’t look away as he fucks his mouth.

It builds and builds and builds until his hips stutter, wrecked groan slipping through clenched teeth as Jaebum cums heavily in Youngjae’s mouth and the other moans appreciatevely, sucking and swallowing all that Jaebum gives before pulling off and bringing a hand up to wipe at the corner of his mouth.

Jaebum is a mess leaned back against the door, chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath and hands slipping from where they had been buried in Youngjae’s hair. It takes him a few moments to collect himself and when he does he looks down to where Youngjae is still sitting on his knees, face flushed and lips red and swollen, parted around the shallow breaths he’s taking and his own erection pressed against the confines of jeans. 

That possessive feeling, the one that had been driving him a little insane just a bit ago, suddenly returns. But this time it’s a hot burn of pleasure rather than agitation. Something snaps, and the anxiety and stress that had been bearing down on him is forgotten and suddenly replaced by the desperate need to fuck. Jaebum sinks into the familiarity of sex easily, knowing how to take over from here.

”Get up.” Jaebum rasps out, watching as Youngjae stands immediately, stumbling a bit at the uncomfortable pressure between his legs. 

“Now turn around and grip the sink.”

A shaky breath slowly leaves Youngjae’s chest, eyes glassing over and lips trembling before his tongue wets them and he nods. Jaebum watches from where he’s sagged against the restroom door, that heat beginning to stir in his gut again when Youngjae turns around and grabs ahold of the sides of the sink, bending down a little. Their gazes meet in the mirror that Youngjae looks at him through.

”Take off your pants.”

Jaebum hears the quiet whimper that slips, watching Youngjae as he shifts and twitchs and it’s easy to see the effect that his words and voice have on the other. Youngjae continues to listen, hands lifting only to undo his button and zipper and then push the black jeans down past his hips until they’re pooling around his shoes, leaving him in his shirt and underwear. “Take those off, too.” Jaebum continues in a low tone, directing his gaze to the briefs he’s wearing and watching as trembling hands move to slide them down until his ass is bare and there for Jaebum to admire.

Youngjae’s body is perfect and it makes every part of Jaebum ache with want, his cock already starting to stir again.

Jaebum finally finds the strength to push himself away from the door, hands pulling up his boxers a bit but kicking his shoes and jeans off so that he doesn’t trip trying to close the space between them. Youngjae is watching him through the mirror still and Jaebum moves to press his hips flush against the curve of his ass, grinding against it while he drapes over him to grip the sides of the sink as well, heat from Youngjae’s back sinking through the layer of his shirt and into his chest.

“You're going to drive me crazy,” Jaebum groans against his ear, face tucking into the dip of his shoulder when Youngjae moans and grinds his ass back against him.

”P-Please—“ Youngjae whimpers, fingers tightening on the sink.

”Please what?”

Youngjae let’s out a pitiful sound, head dropping while his hips continue to swivel back against Jaebum’s hardening cock. The sound and hot shiver of pleasure that spreads through his gut is enough to make him nearly cave, but Jaebum needs to hear it him say it.

"C'mon," Jaebum urges with a low mumble, lips pressing against the nearest skin he can reach and rocking his hips against his ass when it grinds back against him again. “What do you want, Youngjae?"

"I want you," Youngjae says breathlessly, head tilting to the side and then stretching back to give Jaebum more of his neck to taste, his lips and tongue and teeth working against the tender skin there and making Youngjae whimper more, eyes fluttering. "I want you to fuck me." he finally admits, and Jaebum’s mouth goes dry, heat coiling in his gut becoming nearly unbearable.

“Shit, Youngjae.” Jaebum gasps before his attention moves away to hazardously grab for his discarded jeans, finding his wallet in the pocket of it and pulling out one of the condoms and packets of lube that he always keeps in there.

There were still some parts of his old routine that stuck with him, and he is beyond thankful for that right now.

Opening the packet of lube he uses just enough to get three fingers covered, moving back into Youngjae's space and running the tip of his index finger over his entrance, eyes watching it clench in anticipation. “Please," Youngjae begs again in a small tone, perking his ass up just a little bit more and Jaebum gives in easily, sliding a finger into the heat there and inhaling to collect himself when a filthy sound leaves the other's lips. Jaebum works it in slowly, planning on taking his time with it but he's only thrusted in and out a few times before Youngjae is asking for another already. "Are you-" but he's caught off when the other moves back to grab at the wrist of the hand he's using to stretch him, giving it a squeeze while a  _'yes'_  hisses past his lips.

He doesn't bother arguing after that, slipping a second finger in and stretching him more, Youngjae's grip on his wrist not leaving and pushing him in more, encouraging him to quicken the pace of his thrusts. Just like before though, it's not long before the demand for another is given and he slips in a third finger. Picking up the quick pace from before, he works Youngjae open until he's practically curling into the sink supporting him up, arms and legs trembling and Jaebum doesn’t pull away until he moans and arches his back at a particular thrust, fingertips finally finding that sensitive bundle of nerves.

Jaebum teases at it for a couple seconds, the other's grip on his wrist feeling as though it wants to crush his bone, and then he draws his hand away. Shaking off the hold on his wrist, he moves it back to the sink once more and then opens the condom to slip it over his length, slicking himself up with the remaining lube in the packet. He steps forward and grabs Youngjae’s ass to pull his cheeks apart just enough, pressing the head of his cock against his entrance.

”This might hurt.” Jaebum tries to warn but Youngjae is ready and he makes it clear.

”I don’t care. Just please get in me.”

Jaebum doesn’t need to be told twice. He takes it slow, still not wanting to hurt the other, sliding in little by little as Youngjae gasps and holds his breath, clinging to the sink and trembling. He doesn’t move an inch once he’s flush against his ass until the other starts to adjust, clenching around him. The tight heat makes Jaebum double over, nails digging into the sides of the hips he’s holding onto.

”You can move,” Youngjae finally breathes out, eyes shutting at the drag of Jaebum pulling out and then thrusting back in one fluid motion. A small sound of encouragement slips from his lips and Jaebum repeats the action until he’s found that quick pace from before again. Youngjae begins to rock back against each thrust after a couple of minutes, small moans and pleas slipping from his lips for more which Jaebum happily gives.

“Oh, fuck!“ Youngjae gasps out, back arching when Jaebum begins pistoling into him, every part of him trembling with each thrust and voice sounding hoarse from overuse. “Yes.  _Yes—_ “ His cries spark a fire through Jaebum and he reaches forward to grip over where Youngjae’s hands still desperately cling onto the sink, pinning them down against it.

Pressing his forehead against his clothed back again, Jaebum’s eyes flutter shut as he loses himself in the heavy heat and pleasure that takes over. Youngjae’s vocal and writhing underneath him, the filthy sound of their skin meeting making his head rush. It’s so much; it’s nearly perfect. Sex was sex but this was drowning Jaebum and making him lose his mind, the want to make Youngjae beg and cry in pleasure overwhelming his senses.

Jaebum spreads his legs a bit, using his position to bear down on Youngjae and change the angle, plunging deeper until he keens loudly beneath him, hands flexing and twitching against the sink and underneath Jaebum’s own. “More _._ ” Youngjae whimpers out in a broken tone, the word continuously falling from his lips like a praise when Jaebum thrusts into him like that again, and again, and again until he’s throwing his head back, blissed out of his mind and gasping out Jaebum’s name.

"Does it feel good, baby?" Jaebum breathes out against Youngjae's neck in a strained groan, releasing his grip on his hands to slide and grip further up on the sink, draping over Youngjae’s back and caging him down against it as he fucks into him roughly. "Do you like it like this?"

A garbled mess of words spill from Youngjae's lips as he moans out loudly, voice resounding in the small space of the bathroom. "Yes! Yes, I like it!" Youngjae cries out, gasping around a sob of pleasure. "Just like that,  _oh fu—_ " and one of his hands suddenly tears away from where it was desperately gripping at the sink, reaching back to grab at Jaebum's ass, nails digging into the flesh of it and jerking him closer for more.

Jaebum feels drunk but it's not from the alcohol, and he lifts his head from where it's still burrowed into the others back, their eyes meeting in the mirror again as everything rises to its peak when he sees how wrecked the other looks. He curses, lips dragging against the hot, sweaty skin on the side of Youngjae’s neck and biting at it, sucking in a bruise that’ll last for a few days. Jaebum reaches down to fist at Youngjae’s cock, jerking him off roughly and it doesn’t take much longer, with the tight grip he has on Youngjae's length and the onslaught he's giving the other's prostate right now, for Youngjae to finally come apart underneath him, crying out as he goes taut from the intensity of it all and his entire body shudders. The clench around Jaebum’s length is so tight that it has him choking and following only seconds later, gasping for breath as they pant against each other.

It's Jaebum who manages to get himself together first, clarity finally making its way through the delirious whirlwind of desire and need that had taken over the both of them. His hands release the sink, finally pulling out and wincing at the twinge of overstimulation the simple action gives. Stepping away, he's getting rid of the condom and tossing it into the trashcan, tucking himself back into his boxers and pausing when he notices Youngjae still clinging to the sink with one hand, forehead pressed against the mirror and not looking his way. Jaebum swallows, unsure of what to do, unsure of what Youngjae is thinking right now and it's making everything more complicated than he wishes it did.

"Are you alright?" Jaebum finally asks out, moving forward to press a hand against the small of Youngjae's back but quickly snatching it back when the other flinches away from his touch. 

"I'm fine." Youngjae mumbles out, face still hidden and Jaebum wishes he could see it because he's desperate to know what he needs to do right now.

Does Youngjae want him to leave? Maybe that was the best decision for everyone right now, especially after the bullshit he had pulled tonight.

Regardless of it leading the both of them to this situation right now, Jaebum still felt like the word 'asshole' was stamped across his forehead.

"Youngjae—" Jaebum begins but cuts himself off when the other finally pushes himself away from the sink, hastily reaching down to pull his briefs back up as well as his jeans, struggling a bit and still refusing to look Jaebum's way. But he can see his face now. It's flushed, a deep red and Jaebum can't tell if Youngjae looks like he's about to cry or not but it's seeming that way by the glassiness of his eyes and that thought alone feels like a slap in the face.

"Youngjae." Jaebum repeats, moving forward but the other shakes his head quickly, sputtering out an apology and sounding more and more distraught as he backs towards the door and makes for an escape.

"Wait! Don't fucking leave yet-"

It's all Jaebum manages to get out before the other opens the door to the bathroom and slips out, leaving Jaebum to curse under his breath and struggle to grab his jeans and slip them back on, snatching his jacket and wallet up before taking off after the other, shoes barely on his feet. Opening the door that leads back into the night club, Jaebum's hit with the loud bass of music and loud voices, everyone still in their own world. He doesn't know why he even chances looking towards the bar as if Youngjae would just casually go back to work and act like nothing had happened, but he does anyway, feeling a heavy sense of dread begin to weigh down on him when it's just Momo taking on the majority of the crowd. A hand worriedly brushes through his hair, curse slipping underneath his breath.

He leaves the club without looking for any of his friends, calling a taxi to pick him up and take him to his apartment, where he crawls into bed and hopes that when he wakes up he won't feel like the biggest fuck up of the century.

 

 *

 

Jaebum is shoveling cereal into his mouth and avoiding the gaze fixated on him, his own attention on his cellphone as he switches through his apps in an attempt to find something – anything – to distract him from the impending conversation that Jinyoung is wanting to have.

“You’ve got milk on your chin.” Jinyoung drawls out, looking unimpressed with him and Jaebum grunts unintelligibly, moving his hand up to wipe it away.

“So, now that you’ve calmed down, let’s talk.”

“Let’s not.”

“Hm, that’s not how this works, Bummie, and you know that.” Jinyoung responds in a light tone, unaffected by Jaebum’s attempts to thwart this conversation before it can gain any momentum.

“There’s nothing to talk about. I got too stressed out, it all built up, I let my anxiety take over and I lost my temper a bit. I’m fine now.” Jaebum drags out.

“Well yeah, I could of told you that much, but what triggered it? You were fine when we got to the club. I mean, you were tired and a little crabby, but when aren’t you nowadays?” 

Jaebum frowns, bringing a spoonful of cereal to his mouth once more and giving Jinyoung a dull look. “Thanks.” He mumbles out, rolling his eyes when Jinyoung motions for him to answer his question. Jaebum presses his lips together, defiant look in his eye because he really doesn’t want to talk about this right now. Jinyoung had no idea about what actually happened with Youngjae last night, under the impression that Jaebum had simply found a distraction to take his mind off things. Jaebum's still determining if he should even bother with telling the truth about last night, desperate to simmer in his denial just a little bit longer.

“Mark mentioned that Youngjae had been acting weird last night, too.” Jinyoung says after he realizes Jaebum isn’t going to answer, shoulder shrugging with a feigned sense of nonchalance, as if he doesn’t realize the impact of his words and Jaebum hates that he knows Jinyoung’s tactic. He hates it and he hates it even more how he falls into it so easily.

“Acting weird?” God, he was pitiful. The self-disgust was real this morning.

Jinyoung inhales, lips pressing together as his eyes widen, face pulling a look of innocence. Fake innocence, of course. "Yeah I guess. Mark just mentioned that Youngjae seemed really off and maybe even a little upset. Seemed a little worried about something that he wouldn’t tell me about.” 

Jaebum chews at the inside of his lip, staring down intently into his bowl of cereal. “And this matters to me because?” His forced words sound fake to even his own ears, and Jaebum is desperately clinging onto this act with everything that he can, even when Jinyoung is practically shooting beams from his eyes and attempting to destroy it.

“I don't know. Maybe because you like Youngjae?”

Jaebum looks up at him, sharp lines of his face tensing and their eye contact doesn’t break, Jinyoung watching him without a single blink, as if waiting for Jaebum to try and lie to his face again.

“And what does me liking Youngjae have anything to do with this.”

“You tell me.”

Jaebum huffs. “There's nothing to tell."

An incredulous laugh slips from Jinyoung’s lips, the other leaning back in his chair and running a hand through his hair. “Seriously, Jaebum? Shut up and just talk to me. There's no point in trying to act tough right now. You're just going to make it harder on yourself.”

He shoots the other a glare, ignoring the clench that returns to his chest. “It doesn’t matter.” Jaebum spits out, feeling irritation begin to bubble up in place of the tightness in his chest. It's what he keeps trying to tell himself. Him getting jealous didn't matter. Youngjae coming onto him so boldly didn't matter. Them hooking up didn't matter. Youngjae running out on him moments after didn't matter. None of it mattered.

“Sure it doesn’t. Keep telling yourself that and see where it gets you.”

Jaebum heaves out a sigh, flicking his spoon away from him and ignoring how it clinks against his bowl, the sound seeming loud in the tense atmosphere that he and Jinyoung have created. His hands grip the edge of the table, until Jaebum suddenly remembers the warmth of Youngjae's when he held them down last night against the sink, and he immediately releases his grip. He doesn't want to talk, but the sinking realization that even sex probably wasn't going to solve this specific stress is enough for Jaebum to bury his pride temporarily and finally talk.

"I hooked up with Youngjae last night." Jaebum mutters out in a low tone, gaze stuck on the table and not looking towards Jinyoung, even when the other visible jerks in surprise.

"You- you had sex with Youngjae? Last night? At the bar?" Jinyoung asks for clarity, and Jaebum clenches his eyes shut, taking a breath to calm himself.

"Yes."

For once, Jinyoung seems stunned into a silence. He's staring at Jaebum with an unreadable look, shoulders slumped and trying to collect his thoughts and figure out how he's going to go about dealing with this situation with the new evidence that had been provided.

"Are you two okay?" He presses, voice gentle, and Jaebum can appreciate that the other is treading the topic, aware that it's foreign and unstable for both of them.

"Fuck if I know. He ran away from me right after we finished and wouldn't even look me in the face or talk to me." Instead of sounding bitter, Jaebum just sounds sad now, staring into the soggy pieces of cereal floating around in the milk of his bowl.

"Were you both drunk?"

Jaebum looks up at that, frowning. "I was buzzed if anything but definitely not drunk. I'm pretty sure he was sober. And before you get ahead of yourself, he found me in the crowd and came onto me. Practically dragged me into the back of the club and- I just-" Jaebum lets out a sound of frustration, slumping down into his chair and kicking his legs out underneath the table. "I don't know what the fuck happened or what I did wrong." Jaebum stops when Jinyoung scoffs. " _Aish_ , besides me acting like an ass prior to it all. He wouldn't look at me, Jinyoung. He looked like he was about to cry. If I fucked up then I'll accept that, I fuck up a lot, but I'd like to at least know what I did wrong... but he just ran away and now I feel like I can't even go near him. Like I'm not allowed to or something."

Jinyoung hums lightly in response, arms crossing over his chest as his lips press together, contemplating his own thoughts. "Maybe it's best if you do give him some space."

Jaebum doesn't like that answer. He hates it, even though it's probably the right way to go, but having to go about his life and act like he didn't basically ruin whatever weird relationship he had developed with Youngjae seemed like it would just end up being some twisted, cruel fate for him to have to endure for the rest of his life.

"I didn't mean to hurt him." Jaebum starts, jaw clenching and he doesn't move when Jinyoung sighs, scooting his chair back and making his way to his side of the table, arms wrapping around his shoulders and pulling him in. Physical affection was really something that Jaebum didn't give very often, save for the few in his life that he felt comfortable with, and Jinyoung just happened to be one of those people. The hug is simple but stabilizing, a form of comfort offered rarely between them unless they really felt that the other needed it. The last time Jaebum had hugged Jinyoung was when his relationship with Wonpil had ended, and that had been years ago. Jaebum sits still, letting Jinyoung press the sides of their faces together and linger in the hold for as long as he wants.

"I know you didn't, Bummie. It'll be okay."

"How do you know that?" Jaebum mumbles out critically, ignoring how Jinyoung's arms tighten their hold around him.

"Because despite how big of an asshole you can be, I know you'll end up doing the right thing and I know you'll end up talking to him. Things will work themselves out in whatever way they need to. Just give him some space, and give yourself some space to. You'll know when you need to finally talk to him."

Jaebum can only hope that Jinyoung is right about this.

 

 *

 

It’s been three weeks since the club incident. Three weeks since he’s seen Youngjae and royally fucked up something that Jaebum hadn’t even known was potentially there until he was ripping it to shreds in a blaze of immature jealousy. Jaebum has accepted it. He ended up developing feelings for Youngjae; and perhaps it had been mutual.

Had been. The past tense of that thought makes Jaebum want to curl into himself but he doesn’t. 

It’s been three weeks and honestly, Jaebum hasn’t touched the apps on his phone or looked for someone to hookup with since, and he’s stressed.

But he’s not stressed about work:

He’s stressed about Youngjae.

The easiest solution was to swallow his pride, and the lingering embarrassment that made him unable to even think about facing Youngjae in person, and just apologize and try to fix whatever remaining fragments of their friendship he could and hope that Youngjae doesn’t just drop him in a second. That would be the easiest thing for Jaebum to do. But of course, in true Im Jaebum fashion, he puts it off until his thoughts are eating him alive and he literally cannot take it anymore.

Everyone seems annoyed with him. Jinyoung’s sympathy only went for so long before he just started rolling his eyes anytime Jaebum snapped. Jackson just didn’t seem to understand what the big deal was, adamant that apologizing would fix what it needed to. And Mark really didn’t talk to him about any of it, but then again he didn’t need to, his words from the club on that night having been more than enough for Jaebum to know he overreacted over something small. 

So it’s a Tuesday night when Jaebum finally finds himself entering the night club. It’s busy enough. Jaebum isn’t even sure if Youngjae is working, not fully aware of the other’s schedule, and part of him hopes that he isn’t working so that he has an excuse to leave and go home but also prove that he had tried.

And when his gaze lands on the bar and sees that it's Momo standing behind it tonight, along with a random raven-haired guy that he's never seen before, Jaebum suddenly wishes he hadn't hoped for that. A heavy feeling settles in his gut, having no idea what could possibly of happened to the other, and Jaebum finds himself sitting in that familiar bar stool once more. Momo suddenly appears infront of him, hair done up in moonbuns and glitter adorning her features, but she's looking at Jaebum like she's surprised to see him.

“What?" he asks with a questioning expression, watching as the female crosses her arms over her chest.

"If you're looking for Youngjae, he's not here."

Wow. He really was that predictable now, wasn’t he?

Jaebum frowns, letting out a heavy sigh. "I figured."

"No I mean- he's not here at all. He doesn't even work here anymore. We just finally hired Dowoon over there to replace him.”

Momo's words send an icy shiver through Jaebum's skin, and something lurches in his stomach, knocking the breath out of him. Jaebum feels like he just got punched in the gut, unable to even mask away the shock at the bomb the petite girl just dropped on him. She gives him a look of sympathy, frown pouting at her own lips as well, and she almost looks a little upset about having to be the one to share the news.

"What do you mean he doesn't work here anymore? Did he quit?" Jaebum forces the words out of his mouth, doing his best to stay calm.

"Yeah. He said something about a job opportunity finally being offered. He's been applying to a bunch of places for the past few months. It's actually pretty awesome that he finally got hired somewhere."

It is awesome. Jaebum remembers the other mentioning needing the bartending job simply because he hadn't managed to get one for his degree yet, but the shock and overwhelming feeling of guilt - and maybe a bit of betrayal, too - numbs him and Jaebum just can't be happy about it right now. He had come to the bar in hopes of getting to talk to Youngjae about what happened between them. About them in general, actually, once he realized that there were certain feelings that he felt that were far past platonic and harboring towards infatuation. Jaebum closes his eyes, bringing his hands up to rub at his face, shoulders slumping in defeat.

"Fuck." He groans out, not seeing the sad smile that Momo gives him as she walks away, and Jaebum's left alone in his misery as the club continues to buzz around him, the loud music reverberating through his body and really, it's about the only thing he can feel right now.

 

* 

 

_One month later..._

The smell of coffee is the only thing getting Jaebum through his morning right now, and he's thankful that no one else within the building is lingering around the break room at the moment, the silence offering him some peace and quiet. Which, working for the small entertainment company that he did, was rare to come by. Rolling the sleeves of his sweater up, Jaebum leans back against the counter of the small kitchen, watching the kuerig slowly fill his mug. Reaching back to pick up the binder behind him, Jaebum flips it open with a sigh, sifting through the documents as well as multiple pages of lyrics and music sheets that it held for the projects he's been working on. He pauses when he finds the specific one he's looking for, reading over it quietly for the next few minutes before the door to the break room is opening and —

"JB! My man!"

There goes his quiet.

Inhaling slowly, Jaebum lifts his gaze to look at Jackson as he enters the room, grin on his face and thankfully, he's aiming for the refrigerator instead of Jaebum's space.

“Morning, Jackson." Jaebum mumbles out anyway, snapping the binder in his hands shut and setting it back down on the counter, seeing that his coffee was finished and reaching for it like it's the only lifeline he's got left in the world at the moment. Jackson is humming to himself, looking through all the food that was stored away and then coming out with a small tupperware dish that definitely was not his, Jaebum notes, but the brunet seems unbothered as he pops open the lid and takes a bite of whatever is in it. 

"Last time I checked, your name wasn't Sungjin." Jaebum points towards the name scribbled across the lid. Jackson blinks, feigning an innocent look before shrugging. "He told me I could eat it."

"Sure he did." Fighting the other on this was not in Jaebum's schedule for the morning, so he simply rolls his eyes and finishes up making his coffee, deeming the sugar and creamer ratio he's added in just enough to make it the right kind of sweet that he likes. 

"At least I'm eating something! You know coffee does not count a breakfast. All the caffeine you're pumping through your body is terrible for you and you're basically just setting yourself up for a heart attack. Plus, all that sugar and creamer you add in is just going to make you fat."

Jaebum gives the other a dull expression, bringing the mug up to take a slow sip, showing how less of shit he could give right now. Jackson gives a dramatic frown. "Fine! Don't tell me I didn't warn you though in the future when it all catches up to you! Here I am, trying to be a good friend, looking out for your health—"

"Shut up." Jaebum cuts him off, "It's way too early in the morning to be dealing with you right now."

"Well, you're going to have to wake up anyway, princess!" Jaebum's eyebrow twitches in annoyance at the nickname. "The new guy starts today and you've got to give him the tour."

Frowning, Jaebum lets out what could be a whine, but he would deny it with every fiber of his being if someone were to ask.

“That was not on my schedule. Since when was this decided?" Jaebum asks, displeased with the news since dealing with the new employee's was not part of his job. There were far more sociable and reliable people, like Jackson, who could handle walking someone around their building and giving them the run down. Jackson just gives him a shrug. "I've got studio time this morning, dude. And I really need it, otherwise I would be all over it. Trust me when I say sending you out to do this was the last resort. You're the only higher up left that's available right now. It doesn't have to be anything special. Just show him around and then take him to where he needs to go and let them handle him from there. You know how it goes."

The frown is a permanent fixture on his face now. "This is annoying." Jaebum grumbles, moving to snatch up his binder before moving past Jackson to make his way out of the break room.

"Hey—" Jackson starts up, voice sounding a little off, and it makes Jaebum stop and turn to look at him.

There is an expression on the brunet's face that confuses even him. Jackson looks amused, lips a faint smile, but the wariness and hesitance on his face makes Jaebum think that the other might even be a little nervous about something. Which, nervous and Jackson Wang were not two things that normally go together.

”What?" Jaebum finally asks.

"Play it cool when you meet him, okay?"

Jaebum's brow furrows in confusion, unsure of why Jackson would assume that he wouldn't be the type to remain professional and calm regardless of his personal feelings. "Sure. Okay. Whatever." he mumbles out, and the two of them look at each other for a moment longer before Jackson finally laughs to himself, grin back on his face. The door to the break room opens and they both turn to see Jae and Sungjin walk in, talking between themselves and Jackson is suddenly breezing past Jaebum who is blinking, everyone moving too quickly for his tired brain to comprehend this early in the morning.

"You got this, JB!" Jackson calls out before disappearing completely.

Jaebum stands silently, unsure of what just happened, but looks over to where Jae and Sungjin are when the latter lets out a groan of frustration.

"What the hell? Who touched my food? My name was literally right on the lid!"

And now Jaebum is leaving at the sound of that, hearing Jae questioning Sungjin on if he considered the idea of having already eaten the food and just forgotten about doing so.

His morning doesn't pick up at all, and Jaebum is sitting back in his office an hour later, attempting to do something productive with himself when there's a knock on his door from behind him.

"Come in." His voice calls out loud enough for whoever it is to hear, but Jaebum's gaze remains fixed on his computer screen, not bothering to turn around in his chair just yet.

"Hey Jaebum. I'm just here to drop off the new guy so that you can show him around." Suzy's voice is the one that speaks up, and Jaebum has to hold in the heavy sigh that tries to slip. He was just going to get this over and done with, so that he could actually sit down and focus, because right now it was damn near impossible knowing that he had to waste time doing this. "Just a second." He mumbles out, saving the small amount of progress he's made and finally pushing back in his chair, standing up from it and picking up his cellphone to tuck it into his pocket.

It's when he turns around to look to where Suzy is standing with the new guy, though, that Jaebum freezes, mouth dropping in shock.

Brown eyes look back at him, and they don't look as surprised to see him, but he can't even think about that right this second because  _it's Youngjae_.

Youngjae is standing in front of him right now. His hair is just as it was when Jaebum last saw him, but instead of the casual attire he would wear for bartending, he's got a pair of black slacks on with some nice shoes and a button up shirt, looking freshened up and unfairly handsome.

"You're the new employee?" Jaebum abruptly asks, ignoring how Suzy gives him a strange look, eyes flickering between the two of them and trying to understand what’s going on.

"Yeah. I am." Youngjae answers back after a moment, and although he looks collected, there is something in his tone that Jaebum does catch, even if he doesn't know what to think of it.

The two of them stare at each other, distracted for long enough that Suzy manages to awkwardly slip out without either of them noticing, shutting the door on her way. Jaebum is still standing behind his desk and unsure of what to do about the situation right now. He had finally texted Youngjae and called him once discovering he no longer worked at the bar. He hadn't blown up the other’s phone by any means, but he had done more than what was typical of him to ever do, and his pride had been shot with every unanswered text and ignored phone call.

It's been nearly two months since he's seen the other, and there is a sudden tick of aggravation, because Jaebum had just started to accept it all. He had just started to let go of what happened and accept that he probably wasn't going to ever see Choi Youngjae again. 

But now the other is right there. Right infront of him. And he looks unsure, now.

"Listen, Jaebum—" Youngjae starts up but the moment he does, Jaebum suddenly latches onto that aggravation and finds his voice again.

"I texted you. And I called you."

Youngjae stops, frowning and having the decency to look guilty. "I-I know you did, I just—"

"You never responded once. Or picked up. You gave me no indication that you were even alive or okay. I got nothing from you."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Why?" The question slips and it feels heavy once he says it. Because that's all Jaebum’s wanted to know this entire time. Why had Youngjae done that - especially after what happened between the two of them - but mostly because Jaebum had thought, despite it all, that the two of them actually cared about each other. Being ghosted was not what he had expected and it was a brutal pill to swallow after coming to terms with the fact that he had developed feelings for the other. Jaebum hadn't felt something even remotely romantic for someone in years. This entire situation had burned him, and he still wasn't fine with it, despite how badly he tried to convince himself he was.

Youngjae lets out a sigh, fingers running through his hair and tugging at it, and Jaebum watches and waits with as much patience as he can muster.

"You don't fuck the same person twice."

The sentence throws him off and Jaebum jerks back a little bit as if the words themselves forced him back, brow furrowing in confusion.

"What?"

The expression on Youngjae's face now just looks upset, as if saying that out loud had hurt him, and there is a tint of pink finding his cheeks. Jaebum wants to question it, and wants to question what that meant, but those were lost in the whirlwind of all the other things that Jaebum wanted to question as well. So he kept quiet instead, lips becoming sealed when Youngjae gets himself together and continues to speak.

"You told me that once. We were talking about your whole hookup thing that you did and that's what you told me. That you don't fuck the same person twice. That it's easier for you, because you don't do the whole 'strings attached' thing."

Jaebum remembers the conversation; but he's still confused. "What does that have to do with what happened between us?"

A huff of exasperation slips from Youngjae's lips. "Really, Jaebum?" he mumbles out, a faint smile quirking onto the edge of his lips, holding just the slightest bit of warmth but it's nothing to what Jaebum is used to. "I'm not that type of person, okay? I've had my fair share of hookups and casual sex with friends and they're fun when you don't have anything to regret, but that night? With you and me? I _did_  have something to regret." 

And, well, that's a bit of a slap to the face. Youngjae seems to notice how his words sting Jaebum, and he's quick to continue before Jaebum can find any words.

"I'm a 'strings attached' kind of guy, okay? I'm—" he pauses, breathy laugh slipping past a wincing smile. "I'm practically the polar opposite of you. I like casual sex but I like romance more. Once I finally do get feelings for someone, all I want to do is be around that person. Like, all the time. I like doing cheesy things and I like having those sappy feelings. I like all of that stuff. And then you, Jaebum, you came out of nowhere and charmed me without even having to try, and it's just made things a million times more complicated for me.

"And then I tried to get a feel about how you were. I noticed pretty quickly how you had a new guy coming in each time. I tried not to let it bother me, because you're a single guy, and you're allowed to do what you want and whoever you want. But it didn't stop me from still being interested. So I— I finally got the nerve to figure out what you were doing and how you were with things like that and... you told me. You told me all of that. And I knew that letting myself get any more attached to you, or letting myself get caught up in you in general, wasn't going to end well for me. Because you don't do relationships, but  _I do_. I'm not the guy you call late at night when you need a quick fuck; I'm the guy you take home to your mother. And I know how cheesy that sounds but that’s because I’m cheesy! I'm the guy who imagines clichés because I  _want_  all of that. I want something serious and I shouldn’t of involved myself with someone who didn’t.”

The silence is deafening for Jaebum right now. He's listening to everything that Youngjae has to say, and Jaebum gets it. Everything that the other is saying makes complete and total sense - and it also makes him feel like an even bigger asshole. "Youngjae, I didn't—"

"I know you didn't. I mean, you knew I was interested, clearly." Youngjae laughs a little, finding a bit of his humor. "But I never really let you see how interested I was. And that's not your fault, it's mine. I wanted to keep a wall up to keep you away but then I still wanted you at the same time, and that just didn’t work out. So this is all my fault."

Jaebum frowns, head shaking in disagreement. "It's not. I'm at fault too. I was an asshole that night. And I-"

"You were, but at the same time, if I hadn't found you and dragged you into the back and thrown myself at you, none of this would of happened." Youngjae cuts him off, and Jaebum pauses for a moment, heavy feeling coming over him.

"Do you regret it?" He suddenly asks, frown on his face deepening, unsure of how to feel if he says yes. Youngjae blinks at him, looking a little surprised at the question and he looks at Jaebum for a moment before slowly shaking his head. "I don't regret having sex with you. I do regret the timing though and how it came about happening. I just freaked out when I realized you were frustrated with me and I— I let myself get caught up." Youngjae groans to himself dejectedly. "I let myself do the exact thing that I told myself not to do because I got scared that you would stop talking to me or something stupid because you thought something was going on between me and Mark. I went to go find you and talk to you to explain it all, but then I saw you with that guy, and I just got—" He pauses, hesitating on the last word.

"— Jealous." Jaebum finishes for him; and life is just an ironic joke at this point.

Youngjae flusters a little bit but nods his head, sighing heavily and moving to drop down into one of the large chairs that sit in front of Jaebum's desk, slumping into it.

"I realized that I fucked up after everything was finished. It was like I suddenly came back to myself, and I got upset because I didn't want to end up being one of those guys that you always brought around but then dropped once you were done with them, Jaebum." His tone is sad, brown eyes downcast and Jaebum can't look away when he sees the open expression that morphs across Youngjae's face. He feels it mirrored in his own, the misunderstanding between them finally coming to light and whatever ill-feelings he had held towards the other evaporated into nothingness within seconds like they never existed to begin with. "I really am sorry," Youngjae whispers out, and Jaebum is reminded again of one of the first thoughts he had had when meeting Youngjae for the first time.

And that was that he didn't stand a chance.

Not then, at the beginning, and not now either, but Jaebum's refusing to see it as the end.

"I'm sorry, too." Jaebum replies after a moment, hand coming out to lean onto his desk for support, the rush of emotions coming over him in a way that he hasn't experienced in a long time.

"I didn't want to ignore you. I felt like the biggest idiot in the world for running out on you like that, but I didn't want to know if I was going to end up like all those other guys. I didn't want to look at you and see or hear if you were done with me now that we had had sex. I really, really like you, Jaebum. And I didn't want to get my hopes up. I didn't want to get hurt." Another laugh bubbles up, and this time Youngjae's smile is a bit wider, head lifting to finally peer up at him from where he's sitting.

"But I just ended up hurting both of us. So, if anything, I'm the real asshole. Not you."

"You're not an asshole at all. Don't say that." Jaebum immediately bites out, looking bothered at the fact that he would even say something like that. Youngjae's smile just quirks up the slightest bit more, but he has no response, and the two of them fall back into a silence as they sort out their thoughts. Seconds tick by before Jaebum has to suddenly pause, face twisting into one of annoyance but it's towards himself now, because why did he even need to sort out his thoughts when he knew what he wanted?

Falling into one of the most miserable states of his life, Jaebum hadn't been able to think about anything other than Youngjae the past two months - and if he's being honest with himself, probably much longer than that, as well. The hurt that had nestled its way into his chest after being ignored for so long had been raw and real. It had been the realest thing that Jaebum had felt, his own past relationships not even comparable, and it only made him realize that his feelings for Youngjae were legitimate and genuine. He had gone from multiple one night stands a week to forgetting about those apps and blurred out faces completely, too wrapped up in the hell that he was thrown into when they had both finally crashed together. The jealousy he had felt was real because Mark had been with Youngjae in a way that Jaebum couldn't understand, and the two of them had just looked so happy to see each other. It had been all too easy for him to just let loose all those negative insecurities that he liked to ignore, allowing them to pull him in and drown him.

Jaebum wanted Youngjae. He wanted him then; and he still wanted him now.

”I’ll just tell you right now that you were both right, but then you were wrong, too.” Jaebum starts, fixing his gaze on Youngjae who looks at him in confusion. “About me not fucking the same people twice. You were right. About me not doing the strings attached thing or relationships. You were right about that too. All of that was stuff that I had said and I believed it completely during the time that I said it. I wasn’t doing relationships because nothing had come around that made me feel like I should bother, and they just seemed pointless if I didn’t want to bother with them. They seemed like they would just make me more stressed than I needed to be.” 

The look of confusion is still plastered on Youngjae’s face and he’s sunk into the chair a little bit more, frown marring his face and Jaebum knows he’s starting to take his words the wrong way. So, he continues.

”You were right about all of that, but you were wrong about one thing: And that was assuming that any of that pertained to you.”

The frown drops from Youngjae’s face and he looks even more confused than before, eyes widening just the slightest as he watches Jaebum carefully, looking as if he’s almost afraid to hear what he has to say next. Jaebum inhales slowly, eyes shutting for a second before he musters up every single feeling that he had felt for the other across from him, using that to guide him through this. A hand comes up to press against the bridge of his nose.

“You’re not one of those guys. You never were. And none of my stupid ‘rules’ applied when it came to you. You were  _you_ , Youngjae. Especially to me. I never saw you any differently. You said you never showed just how interested in me you were, and I was doing the exact same thing. You—“ Jaebum huffs out a laugh, lips pressing together in a tight smile. “You really have no idea.” 

The silence falls heavy over them when Jaebum takes a second to breathe, ignoring the ache in his chest that’s only grown the more he admits out loud.

"So, is this it, then?" Jaebum finally speaks up once more, voice low now that he's got Youngjae's full, undivided attention, wide eyes fixated on him.

"What do you mean?"

"Is this it?" Jaebum repeats, pushing himself off the desk now and walking around to stand in front of it instead, taking up the space that had been separating Youngjae from him. He watches as his hands come up to grasp at the arms of the chair. "Is there nothing between us anymore? Are your feelings for me too damaged and hurt to give it a chance? Is there no point in trying anything with each other after what happened?" The questions leave from his lips and a weight is lifted as each one goes, because they are the ones that Jaebum has wanted to know.

"Are you done with me?" is the last one that Jaebum lets slip, and Youngjae is staring up at him with a tense expression, lips parted as his breaths become shallow.

"I-I thought you would've been the one done with me." He stammers out, and Jaebum watches as he swallows.

"That doesn't answer my question." And his emphasis is there on that single word: Question.

Just that one question needed an answer, really.

Youngjae inhales sharply, eyes searching Jaebum's face as he continues to look down at him. Jaebum can only hope that everything he's feeling right now, everything that he’s finally said, every emotion that twists and churns in his gut, is clear on his face because the mask has dropped and he's thrown in the white flag. He has given up entirely with acting as if he hasn’t desperately fallen for the other in front of him. Their eyes haven't faltered yet, the atmosphere around them filling with that familiar tension, building up and crushing over both of them and it feels like a rubber band being pulled back further and further.

Eventually, one of them would snap.

"No," Youngjae finally admits with what sounds like all the air in his lungs, face flushing when Jaebum leans down and presses his hands over his that are gripping the chair tightly, fingers tightening over them and pinning them there. The space between them becomes less and less until they're finally at eye level. Jaebum's dark gaze takes in every detail on the Youngjae’s face, lingering at his lips and watching as they tremble, and then slowly lifting to return the intense stare still fixated him. Jaebum can hear his heart pounding in his chest now.

"I'm not done with you,” Youngjae whispers out when their eyes connect once more, and Jaebum feels like he's drowning again. "I don't ever want to be done with you."

That tension stretches as Jaebum leans in closer until their lips are barely touching, breath teasing between them. "Good,” He murmurs out, hands holding on tighter to the ones beneath his, as if he's trying to use every bit of his power to make sure Youngjae never leaves again. And, maybe he is. 

"Because I don't ever want to be done with you, either."

Jaebum presses his lips against the ones trembling just a breath away; and then they both snap at the same time.

Mouths collide together roughly, teeth catching but neither care as they desperately fall into each other, Jaebum's hands releasing the hold that they have on Youngjae's so that he can grasp at his face and pull him in closer, and Youngjae's hands are wrapping around his back and yanking him down until he's pressing up against him with a needy sound. Their wants and needs and desire completely consume them as they push and pull against each other, passionately making out until the chair that Youngjae's still sitting in suddenly tilts backwards from the force of both of their bodies, nearly dumping the two of them off. Jaebum moves quickly to catch it before it can fall back completely, using his weight to bring it back onto it's four legs and the action seems to shake them out of it, realization of what almost happened coming over both of them and Youngjae's suddenly laughing underneath him while looking thoroughly disheveled.

The warmth that spreads through Jaebum at the sound of his laugh is overwhelming, and his own smile and laugh follows only moments later, hands moving to push himself up and out of the other's grasp and then dragging Youngjae up with him, still smiling as the raven-haired seems to get himself together. "As happy as I am that we didn't fall back in the chair, I'm almost disappointed, because that would of been hilarious."

"I'm sure with the concussion it would of given us, anything would of been funny. Even you." 

Youngjae starts laughing again before catching his breath, grin wide on his face as he steps away and pats himself down, fingers running through his hair. "I'm- uh— very tempted right now to continue what we were just doing, but I actually am here for my job. So if we can just put a pause on this and pick up on it later, I’d really like that."

Oh, shit.

Jaebum was supposed to be giving Youngjae the tour.

"I— almost forgot about that."

Youngjae shoots him a sly smile, stepping back into his space and bringing up a hand to pull at his hoodie teasingly, "I'm not going to be too much of a problem working here with you, am I?" He questions, lifting his head to look up at him and Jaebum doesn't miss the genuine curiosity that flits across Youngjae's face.

"Not at all. If anything, you'll make working here a lot more bearable." Jaebum answers with a one-sided grin, enjoying how the other seems pleased with the answer. A thought suddenly strikes him and makes him pause, brow furrowing. "It's a pretty small world though, that you managed to get hired here of all places."

Youngjae suddenly purses his lips, looking sheepish as he steps back and lets out a little chuckle, "Actually, Jackson got me the job."

Jaebum blinks, unsure of how to react to that, but ultimately stuck between not believing it, because Jackson managing to create something so elaborate and well thought out was incredibly hard to believe most days, but then also believing it because the other was just enough of an idiot to try something this stupid.

"Jackson." He repeats in a dull tone, and Youngjae starts laughing.

"Yeah! Jackson! He got my number from Mark and sent me a message awhile ago. He said that your company's counselor had left and that they were in need of one, and that he felt my degree in music therapy could really work well with all the artists and trainee's here. And that I'd probably be able to incorporate a lot of my own knowledge with music and how it can heal and help people into the position. It was actually really brilliant and— yeah. I did a couple interviews and although it took awhile, I finally got the job."

To say that Jaebum is shocked is an understatement. He knew Jackson was capable of being incredibly deep and thoughtful, especially after experiencing it himself over the years, but it still surprised the hell out of him whenever it happened. Even if things wouldn't of worked out between Youngjae and him, Jaebum wholeheartedly agreed that the position seemed perfect for Youngjae.

He makes a mental note to find Jackson later and thank him.

”Plus, I knew you would be here and I did want to talk to you again and finally sort things out. Jackson told me you had been sulking around pretty badly, too. So I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try.” Youngjae adds.

Well.

Nevermind on that whole thanking Jackson idea.

It was nice while it lasted.

"I'm happy that you got it. You deserve it." Jaebum mumbles out, pointedly ignoring how he had been exposed by one of his best friends and the other just grins proudly.

"It's a shame, though." Youngjae starts, "I feel like you're really gonna miss coming to the club and having me serve you my secret signature drink every time."

Jaebum snorts, shaking his head but feeling nothing but fondness. "Somehow I think I'll manage to make it." He answers with ease, moving a hand to grip the back of Youngjae's neck and pulling him in, pressing their foreheads together affectionately before spinning him around to face the door to his office.

They needed to leave now before Jaebum decided to just lock the door and keep the other to himself for the rest of the day.

"Now let me take you on this stupid fucking tour so that I can actually get some of my damn work done."

Jaebum starts pushing him towards the door, grinning when Youngjae begins to playfully wrestle against him just to make it a bit more difficult. "What, you don't wanna catch up some more after you show me around?" Youngjae teases just before Jaebum opens the door to lead him back outside, the innuendo making him pause and yeah, Jaebum has a feeling that there was really not going to be any progress made with his work today after all.

"You're going to get me fired." He groans out before opening the door and shoving him out of it. Youngjae's laughter erupts again, spreading through the hallway and letting everyone within the vicinity know that he was officially here. Jaebum feels the fond smile on his face and can't be bothered to try and conceal it this time, even as those around him stare at it with wide, unbelieving eyes, having never experienced it before.

There wasn't much of a point, seeing as he really didn't stand a chance when it came to hopelessly falling for Choi Youngjae.

So why try to hide it anymore?

**Author's Note:**

> so i might've lied when i said i was never going to write smut again.
> 
> but honestly, all the love that swipe right received has been overwhelming and all the comments left have been so, so appreciated! you all are SO AMAZING AND IM SO HAPPY YOU LOVED SWIPE RIGHT.
> 
> as a thanks (and in celebration of GOT7's comeback WHICH IS EVERYTHING RN _**STREAM LOOK**_ ), i'll give you this long ass one-shot and i really hope that you enjoy it. it took me two weeks to edit and complete it to the point where i was finally satisfied with it ASFKLASASK. but i wanted to really build up jb and youngjae a little bit with this fic, so i just hope it doesn't seem boring. and i might have a slight thing for social media plots, even though that wasn't the main point of this fic.
> 
> if i've missed any spelling errors / mistakes, please forgive me. ♡
> 
> ALSO, for anyone curious about youngjae's SECRET SIGNATURE DRINK, it's basically a blue long island iced tea lmao. the specific recipe is just one i pulled from [here.](https://tipsybartender.com/recipe/adios-motherfcker/) figured maybe a visual would be fun :")))


End file.
